Author Topic: Lesbian escorts...?  (Read 14344 times)

Offline laughoutloudtwice

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #30 on: Jun 01, 2009, 09:58:36 AM »
occationally you get a happy non-pulsed person


I think that's a whole other topic... O_O
"If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

valerie

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #31 on: Jun 01, 2009, 10:28:44 AM »
non-pulsed...they are around, aren't they

musca

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #32 on: Jun 01, 2009, 11:32:31 AM »
I don't think I was offensive towards sex workers (sex workers, whores, hos, prostitutes, priestesses of the temple, sexual healers, hookers, for me there can be no politically correct language because it's an area that bypasses all of those things, and this *is* a good thing...)

..but also I don't think you were especially confrontational LaSirena.    ;)

I did some voluntary work for the ECP and I also researched this whole world as thoroughly as I could before I got bored,  but wouldn't ever claim to have any kind of moral high ground or inside knowledge in the life of the sex worker.  In fact, I haven't got a clue.  I think that's the point, no-one can.  I think HB's insights are the best you'll find. 

I think the point I'm trying to make is that there isn't really any way to make lesbo hookers/women-to-women sex workers anything other than what they are as hetero hookers:  women trying to pay the bills.  Better paid than factory work, better fun than waitressing p'raps, but not something to be mystified or sanctified or exoticised.  I speak for myself: I went through a long phase of thinking that sex work of any kind (stripping, including so-called 'burlesque', hostessing, whoring) was somehow meaningful or would reveal something to me.

It didn't.  Except that perhaps, like HB says, the way women behave towards women can be no better than men, and this kind of does my head in quite badly so I've left the whole subject to one side because I think this is just human behaviour, innit.  Some humans = good or ok.  Some humans = toads.  Dabbling in sex work or dabbling in sex with sex workers doesn't make you either.  It's all human, all too human, only nothing all that interesting about any of it.   But debunking the myth of sex work and the idea that sex workers (must not say hookers, must not say hookers) are anything better or worse than, say, garage mechanics or shelf-stackers is a good thing, because then we can move on and get some good legislation and protection for these people. 

Offline LaSirena

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #33 on: Jun 01, 2009, 11:54:29 AM »
Musca, I whole heartedly agree. Sorry if I jumped down your throat on the language thing, I've been doing some undergrad seminars, and when people say things like 'lets just call them what they are', they mean something very different! I've called myself a hooker before and not been ashamed of it, I guess its just hard to read situations sometimes.

Honeybarbara's and your observations certainly ring true in mine and my friends' experience, women clients are no better on the whole than men, and usually a pain in the ass.

But. We are no closer to the soho hustler joint mystery! Somebody must remember these clubs, it wasn't that long ago (2000?). They weren't run like hostess bars, they were just crappy bars (not even necessarily lesbian bars) where it was generally known that women could pick up women for money.
I'm stuck on this now. Anyone too shy to post, IM me!

scarlette

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #34 on: Jun 01, 2009, 12:55:42 PM »
I don't think paying for sex is necessarily an exchange of power, it can be seen as simply procuring a personal service from a professional, it depends on her rights and her working conditions.  At the moment the industry is stigmatised and criminalised and that can be used to the advantage or the disadvantage of both parties.  It could add to the exploitation but also to the appeal.  I think, like everything else, it will come down to money and class.

rent girls congregated, and lady johns went to pick them up

How could they tell who was who?

musca

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #35 on: Jun 01, 2009, 01:06:36 PM »
It's a good mystery, and it has the potential to re-ignite that belief that there's this parallel world of right-on sex transactions taking place.  So I'm intrigued.

But still sceptical.  But what do I know?

scarlette

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #36 on: Jun 01, 2009, 01:18:47 PM »
this parallel world of right-on sex transactions taking place

I think it's called heterosexual marriage  :D

Offline Electric Barbarella

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #37 on: Jun 01, 2009, 01:40:26 PM »
LaSirena, can I just ask why you've started this thread? You're either writing an undergrad essay on the topic or are looking for some paid action!

Also wanted to say this thread has really made me think. I normally have quite strong opinions on things, but I'm really not absolutely sure where I stand on the whole sex-worker thing. When I first read the OP I thought, 'women-for-women escorts, ace!' but after reading a few of the posts I felt this was maybe a bit naive. One thing I am sure of is that the women in this line of work do need to be protected more, which I feel would happen with legalisation.

As for knowing or hearing of these bars - I thought I was pretty clued up as to the pleasures of Soho, but haven't heard a dicky bird.

Offline LaSirena

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #38 on: Jun 01, 2009, 03:50:02 PM »
Venus_orbiting- good question! I get the impression that the former were on the whole fairly young and sceney looking, while customers not so much. I shall have to ask...

Electric Barbarella- also good question. I started the thread because I wanted to know! I'd love to write about it, and I am doing some research into the lesbian and trans sides of soho history, but this is more of a personal tangent, and isn't something I was planning to include.
Thirdly, paid action would be great, but it seems I missed the market by a few years!

Offline LaSirena

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #39 on: Jun 01, 2009, 03:53:06 PM »
@musca- from what I hear, it was less parallel and right-on and more like the scene HoneyBarbara described...
« Last Edit: Jun 01, 2009, 03:54:56 PM by LaSirena »

deviant

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #40 on: Jun 01, 2009, 04:11:53 PM »
it's simple, if people want it, & can pay for it, there is a market, as there is for everything.  I believe from personal experience, that lesbian escorting is more word of mouth, amongst some highpowered lesbian clientele.

betterthanaverage

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #41 on: Jun 02, 2009, 12:28:08 PM »
I've been a phone ho and an "escort" (call-out prostitute). I've known a fuck of a lot of women in the sex trade. I've known exactly *zero* of them that ever got asked to go out to parties as arm candy. but perhaps I just haven't known that part of the up market end.

I do know plenty independant business women who run their own business of it - mostly dommes. I know a smattering of girls who have worked in brothels, mostly those who did/do call-outs and some who used to street walk.

I used to get the odd female client. And I did have two dyke clients when a very wealthy friend of mine put me in touch with someone who wanted more of a... hum... sex therapist/whore. well, that's really what half of it is anyway. lots of therapy blah blah and some screwing. people want to tell you their problems, usually about how their relationship isn't working, how lonely they are, occationally you get a sobber, occationally you get a happy non-pulsed person, but I'd actually say 50% of the job is "hostessing" and listening and dealing with people's hang ups about what they want. (they don't feel they can ask other people or their partners) But I wasn't a street walker.

Women as clients... to be totally honest? they were a pain in the ass and they never tipped.

like kitty said - waiting for only women clients one would practically starve to death. they are also notoriously cheap/frugal/expect more/trim the sides for a deal.

when I advertised on the women for women sex site, I had to take the hourly rate down that I had regularly charged to get responses.

and I got zero customers from that site. lots of interested mail, but all would bail in the end.

the only kind of actual paying female customer I got as a call-out, was bisexually curious. Mostly those who had never had sex with a women before and had very recently split from they boyfriend and most usually blotto or on the way to blotto.

I had to put one women in the recovery position before I left.

it's a glam job.

but I much preffered it to waitressing.

the women on the phone would wank till they were close to coming, call the phone line and then not want to hear any of the regular speil you gave the men about what you look like or sexy warm up talk. they has about two - three minutes before they came and they just wanted you to descrive ____. then they'd hang up. cheaper that way.

I really wouldn't turn women as customers into something they weren't. They are a hard group to get (usually nervous or short of money) a lot of work as a customer (constant reassurance of one kind of another with high demands) and they don't pay well.

As ever, you always enlighten me. Take care HB.

Offline Electric Barbarella

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #42 on: Jun 03, 2009, 11:16:51 AM »
Venus_orbiting- good question! I get the impression that the former were on the whole fairly young and sceney looking, while customers not so much. I shall have to ask...

Electric Barbarella- also good question. I started the thread because I wanted to know! I'd love to write about it, and I am doing some research into the lesbian and trans sides of soho history, but this is more of a personal tangent, and isn't something I was planning to include.
Thirdly, paid action would be great, but it seems I missed the market by a few years!

well it is a very interesting topic :) i remember a few years ago reading an article in something like cosmo where a straight/bi-curious female journalist hired a female escort for a lesbian experience. predictably she bottled it and had a massage or something, but i wonder where she got the girl from and if it was a specifically women-on-women sex worker?

i agree with the other poster who suggested this might be the sort of thing more accessible to the lesbian A list though.

feel quite naive on this thread - the closest thing i've ever come to a lesbian escort is pole dancing at the candy bar a long time ago (shame on me :-[) and that was an interesting one. the first time i went i was horrified at the behaviour of the women which seemed very masculine and chauvinist - 'go on love, get your kit off!'. but the second time i went (again, more shame) i actually got quite in to it and enjoyed myself (although i didn't shout 'get your tits out' or anything).

all in all i felt it must be a much safer, nicer environment to strip in than an all male one - although i wonder if it was as lucrative? i also wonder if this would translate to actual prostitution/sex work?

musca

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #43 on: Jun 03, 2009, 11:58:09 AM »
I kind of veer toward's HB's feeling that you know where you are with this stuff when men are involved.  For men, a sex worker is possibly objectified, but possibly appreciated differently, paid properly.  I was complimented and made to feel really powerful by men, but I'm not stupid, I can examine what's going on with that.  I also had to protect my partner from being treated like dirt, because she didn't have the same attitude I had.  I think strippers can be hard, because they have to be, and I think it is this hard-faced approach which overlaps into other sex work.  You just don't think of nakedness or gyrating or eye contact as quite so meaningful anymore, it's a form of performance art.  Sex workers are just very good actors.  I actually found acting on stage in La Ronde, which is about prostitution and the way women are used for sex, much more traumatic than dirty dancing can be.

Sex work is the act of putting your feelings and your emotions away, but this is also true of going to a sex club and other types of exhibitionism, and it's a facet of sex, like S&M or somesuch.  Not everyone is into exhibitionism, but what I don't get is why sex workers are threatening to other people while dressing up in rubber and walking about sneering at a fetish club is in some way more sophisticated.  I suppose it could be because money is involved, but I was a bit bizarre because I didn't do my stripping for money really, I did it for private reasons and to watch how other people behave.  But I don't have a problem with money, I do think though that money is what holds the ick factor for most people when it comes to sex work, it's got nothing to do with the sex.  You can kind of hide as a sex worker behind your persona, which is either liberating or spooky, depending on which way you look at it, but the money thing is what presses people's buttons, because money is the big dividing force in society.

I always think sex work is like a perfect little microcosm of capitalism and has a lot to teach us. 

Offline Arig

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Re: Lesbian escorts...?
« Reply #44 on: Jun 03, 2009, 01:19:54 PM »
Sex work is the act of putting your feelings and your emotions away, but this is also true of going to a sex club and other types of exhibitionism, and it's a facet of sex, like S&M or somesuch.

I go to sex clubs and engage in acts of exhibitionism, my own and others, and this does not in any way involve putting my own or others feelings and emotions away. I, and those I engage with, do it because it is to us an enhancement of the sensual or sexual experience. We do it for pleasure.



Not everyone is into exhibitionism, but what I don't get is why sex workers are threatening to other people while dressing up in rubber and walking about sneering at a fetish club is in some way more sophisticated.


I am also (surprise surprise) closely connected to someone who dresses in rubber to go to fetish clubs, for herself. She enjoys its smell, its looks, its sensual feeling. She does NOT sneer, (she may if you ask her very nicely and offer to be spanked though).



Your comparisons are, to put it simply, insulting to those of us that do not put emotions and feelings away and in reality enjoy and activelly seek bigger emotional rides from those acts.

I will venture that you do not engage in the use of fetish or sex clubs, wearing of rubber or acts of exhibitionism. It is all very well to have the wrong idea about something, but please don't take it to be the truth, before experimenting it for yourself, checking with those who do or simply asking the questions that will teach you what is what and why.