Author Topic: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school  (Read 6767 times)

lippy

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #15 on: Mar 29, 2009, 10:11:33 PM »
Crikey Scully.  Did she know you were a lesbian or did she flirt with girls routinely?

Hell, even I didn't 'know' I was a lesbian (not consciously)! I've had this all my life. Straight women flirt with me.

lippy

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #16 on: Mar 29, 2009, 10:13:44 PM »
its my biggest regret that i didnt just grab her and kiss her.

I have that regret about a woman at university. We got very close to it once. I wish I was more daring.  :(

Offline Papillon

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #17 on: Mar 30, 2009, 07:18:18 AM »
I met a girl at dance summer school when I was 15. We both discussed how we didn't like boys and then when I stayed her house, she asked me to take off my pyjama top and she nibbled my nipple and taught me how to kiss. It was amazing (though her mum did find us topless in bed together the next morning)!

Then at 18 I fell in love with one of my best friends at school. We went to the ballet together and spent the whole night holding hands and stroking each other's hair, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same. Then just as I was catching my bus home, she kissed me in the last second and I couldn't believe it. On the bus, I texted her to say I loved her, and it was the sweetest agony of my life waiting for her reply to say she loved me too. When I got home, we spent hours on the phone talking about how we both felt and it was absolute bliss.
a gorgeous smile and a sweetness that hints of something a lot more mischievous underneath

Salamander

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #18 on: Mar 30, 2009, 06:17:45 PM »
Deborah Emslie. She was in my class and my best friend. She had curly hair, the most beautiful blue-grey eyes and muscles to die for (she used to swim competitively). She switched me on to Jim Croce's music, which I still love, and because we met in Hong Kong when I was 11, my memory tells it as a time of endless sunshine and not very many clothes.  :)

One of the other girls in our "gang" of about 5 saw a film with her family one evening which had featured two women and an accusation of lesbianism. She came to school the next day and told me that's what I was. I insisted I wasn't and went home and looked it up. I realised it was right, but Rachel's accusation really sullied the feeling I had for Debbie. So sad. I kept on adoring her in silence - it didn't have anything to do with the boyfriends I had, the feeling was quite different - and was quite glad to be sent to boarding school some months later.

I had my first girlfriend at boarding school when I was almost 16 and she almost 15. We were together almost 3 years, including some time after we'd both left. I thought we were highly discreet but many years later another woman who turned out to be a lesbian too (and might even be a member of Gingerbeer, who knows?) said she thought we'd been "terribly brave". LOL! A was my first real love - and I will always have a soft spot for her despite the tortured nature of our romance. And we were in touch until about 8-10 years ago. Our lives had gone in different directions but she too identifies as bisexual.


GentleWhisper

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #19 on: Mar 30, 2009, 09:06:14 PM »


Tangent ~

I had just written a giant of a post in response to this until the g/f reminded me there were no other women in my life before her  ;)


~ end Tangent

GentleWhisper

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #20 on: Mar 30, 2009, 09:07:08 PM »
PS. Wonderful thread though and I enjoyed the memories it has inspired.

Thank you.

GW xx

scarlette

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #21 on: Mar 30, 2009, 09:24:12 PM »
Regrets, I have a few..

There was a girl in my choir who I fancied like crazy.  When I was about 15 we went away on a residential course.  Before bed, we were talking in her room and the conversation turned to sex and I was asking her about what she'd done with boys and looking down her top and thinking how gorgeous she was and how she'd probably never talk to me again if she knew I fancied her.  Without thinking about what I was saying, I asked if she'd ever kissed another woman and she said no.  I was quite embarrassed at myself and soon after I went to bed.  I was lying there when there was a knock at my door and she came into my room!  She said nothing and I said nothing.  Then she asked me if she could sleep there because there were spiders in her room.  She was staring right at me and I wanted to do something so much but I was scared and so I just looked at her and said sure, she could take the top bunk.  She stared back at me for a moment and then she climbed up there and, I presume, went to sleep.  I lay there all night staring up and kicking myself for being such a coward.  In the morning I pretended to be asleep til she was gone back to her room and the next day we went home.

I saw her a year later in a club.  She was with her boyfriend, I was with mine.  We went to the toilet together and she showed me her bra.  I said it was nice.  We looked at each other for a moment and then went back out to our boyfriends.  I never saw her again.

Of course over the years there were many best friends and crushes and the like, but this girl really sticks in my mind.  I was also banned from playing with several girls at very young ages, I was always the 'bad influence' and it's only looking back that I see how obviously intense and sexual the friendships must have appeared to the adults involved and that is why.  I can also relate to the confusion when I would be in a sulk because so-and-so and so-and-so got together and people would automatically think I fancied the boy and I wouldn't know how to correct them.  My best friend at 17 when I told her I fancied another girl from that day forward never touched or hugged me again and I was so hurt.  I do think it's sad that because of my sexual orientation and the environment I grew up in, I never had those normal innocent adolescent sexual experiences, I was always too crippled by fear and uncertainty, and I am so jealous when I hear other people's, although I admire their guts too  :-\

Offline laughoutloudtwice

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #22 on: Mar 31, 2009, 03:37:53 AM »
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread.

Up until about two months ago, I had never really experienced this phenomenon. Now I majorly want my one friend to like me. I want to hug her, touch her, kiss her on the neck and most importantly, want her to want me to do those things. She doesn't, nor does she really care about me as a friend so much. Sucks to be me!
"If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

lippy

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #23 on: Mar 31, 2009, 07:17:14 AM »
I do think it's sad that because of my sexual orientation and the environment I grew up in, I never had those normal innocent adolescent sexual experiences, I was always too crippled by fear and uncertainty, and I am so jealous when I hear other people's, although I admire their guts too  :-\

Yes, I totally relate to this. I was a very late developer.
I've made up for it a bit now.  :)

Offline dykadelic

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #24 on: Mar 31, 2009, 10:08:07 AM »
The first girl I had feelings for that I understood was my best friend Sophie... (yes for those of you that were there, I mean the nightmare bridesmaid from our wedding). I told everyone I had feelings for a different friend, Ruth, to throw them all off the scent, and so that Sophie wouldn't stop kissing me when she was pissed.

One night, NYE when I was 14/5 and we were completely hammered,  my whole group of friends stayed the night at my house. there were 5 girls asleep on my bedroom floor, and Sophie and I were squashed up in my bed. We lay there kissing and giggling whilst the others were asleep, and then I started kissing down her body and put my hand in her pants. when she went rigid, I figured she was freaking out and so I stopped, and horrified, fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I caught her in the bathroom and said 'we should talk about last night... I am really sorry if you didn't like it. '

She replied... 'Like what? I fell straight asleep after we kissed a bit...'

So basically I lost my virginity to someone that was asleep. ::)
I do try to be be good....

penetration is oppression, how would you feel if someone did it to you?

Offline Charlotte Mew

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #25 on: Apr 25, 2009, 03:28:58 AM »
Thank you blackpanther for a really wonderful moving piece of writing. 

It is easy to see why you would have such a sense of loss. I hope you have other loves that will mean as much to you, though of course they could never be the same they could of course be amazing in a new way.   

Offline cha

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #26 on: Apr 25, 2009, 06:46:39 AM »
Devvil's Dyke- thanks for starting this post!
and for all those who shared their experiences and memories :D

I've always fallen for best friends who are straight :(
the most recent and memorable one (both  in a bad and good way)
is my best friend. hot latina girl!
i didn't really know what it meant before, back in college/uni
but i just had these intense, emotional and later on sexual feelings for this girl.

we pretty much share everything and i love her more than everything else in this world. except that right now we've hurt our folks behind their backs (not sexually) and I think I need to put down my foot an learn to say no coz i've been getting emotionally and financially abused from her and the past ones too.

i've also come to accept that she is straight (or so she says)
and now I am also madly in love with someone so far away... 

"For one being to love another: that is the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test of proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Offline cha

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #27 on: Apr 25, 2009, 03:45:40 PM »
Blackpanther- thanks for the wonderful message!

i hope that we all find our true love in the right moment and time.
i also believe that as soon as we accept and love who we really are,
then those feelings will be reciprocated. love moves in mysterious ways.

it was only in Jan 09 that I have truly accepted that I am a lesbian and it is liberating  and empowering for me in some ways to know that i am absolutely fine and capable of loving other women and having relationships.
now i know that these feelings will be reciprocated :)
"For one being to love another: that is the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test of proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Offline Ms. F. Strawberry

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #28 on: Apr 27, 2009, 09:39:49 PM »
When I was about 12, a friend and I played this strange game, which was basically classroom role-play. When one of us got something wrong (hmm, fairly frequently) the "teacher" would have the right to spank the "pupil".  We would then run to the toilet together and compare the scarlet slap marks on our bums.  It was meant to be funny, or an exercise in how much pain you could tolerate, but it was also so naughty and arousing.

My other young memory involved a butch lesbian at secondary school.  I was in my final year (about 16, but still inexperienced/clueless etc) and she was two academic years younger than me.  She was the first young butch lesbian I'd seen, and she had this whole beautiful reckless f*ck-the-world thing going on, and I was hugely attracted to her.  I was pretending to be straight at this point, and was a very serious teen.  She was so different, not punkish or gothic, or aimless or a loser, just strong, tall, clean, rebellious butch.  And I wanted her so, so badly.  I caught her looking at my chest a couple of times in the lunch queue, and I knew a friend of hers, so I'd waltz over and pretend to be sophisticated for two minutes or so, and then escape, a little breathless and embarrassed.  But I never plucked up the courage to speak to her directly, so it never went any further.  :-[

Offline cha

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Re: Sensuality and sexuality with your best friend at school
« Reply #29 on: Apr 29, 2009, 03:22:30 PM »
blackpanther-

of course I am still not out towards my family and a few friends back at home. i know that its my life to live. not theirs :)


thanks again for this topic.



your welcome, cha...i think you have a very positive attitude now and it's nice to know people are comfortable with it...
best wishes...
 8)

"For one being to love another: that is the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test of proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." ~Rainer Maria Rilke