oh, those agonies of desire!
Oh my god.
Yeah - I remember two girls who just made me weak. Not at the same time, I was very monogamous in my hopeless crushes. The first one was this beautiful freckly redhead who knew so exactly the effect she had on me. It was terrible. On a school trip she got into my bed and whilst I lay there, absolutely petrified and desperate not/to touch her, she said, "have you ever kissed a girl?"
And then our teacher, who was doing the night rounds, said from outside our door, "girls, I can hear every word you're saying."
Why would he do that? Why would he do that?
...the other was this gorgeous delicious delightful - very fucked-up - little baby-butch who I pretty much fell in love with when I was about 15. On reflection, I think we fell in love with each other. It was so awkward though - we were both so so nervous around one another, so desperate to impress each other. Very sweet. I remember whenever we had to work in pairs, our chemistry teacher (ha! chemistry!) would always put us together... it was excruciating, we were always dropping thermometers and mucking up our results. At one point she was so frustrated she cried.
I wanted her so badly and I reckon, with hindsight, that if I'd made a move it might actually have worked out. But I was far too scared, and so was she, and after a few years I got my first girlfriend... I remember L telling me that the girlfriend was 'mediocre' and not worthy of me. I should have got the message really. Ho hum.
We keep saying we'll go for a drink together. I think the moment's passed though.