Author Topic: What are you thinking right now ?  (Read 851487 times)

oldbutnew...

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36045 on: Jan 08, 2018, 09:48:46 PM »
Well, there could be any number of reasons why she doesn’t want to travel in the dark. Maybe she can’t see so well and finds it difficult, or she was mugged or attacked in the dark and now feels anxious. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind so it’s unfair and pointless to judge.  The question is, do you want to meet her? If the answer is yes then you’ll have to find a way to accommodate her.If the answer, based on an arbitrary judgement about her travelling preferences, is no, then you’re probably doing her a favour by staying away.

 I’m sure the man reading the news on the radio actually said tresemme. ;D

Maybe you are right Slanty but the point is she said to me  "what time shall we meet".    Excuse me but if someone has a problem travelling in the dark they do not say that.   They would make it clear that they have issues travelling in the dark so they call the shots about what time to meet not me and I would be quite happy with that but as I was unaware because she did not tell me then I picked a later time thinking it was ok.

I have decided to meet up when the nights get lighter.  She said April so thats what we will do
« Last Edit: Jan 09, 2018, 12:04:31 AM by cigarettes and matches »

Offline Artist

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36046 on: Jan 09, 2018, 12:50:24 AM »
^ She started with question not with demand or suggestion. Looks like she wanted to sound polite. But of course, you are the one who knows her.
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
― Anne Lamott

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36047 on: Jan 09, 2018, 10:43:10 AM »
Ah, yes Artist. This is probably a typical case of British indirectness. Start with a neutral question, hoping the answer will be what you wanted. You have a 50-50 chance of getting away with saying what you really wanted. Only if it goes the other way do you have to own up to having an opinion.

God I don't miss the UK when I think of this kind of stuff ::)

Offline Slantrhyme

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36048 on: Jan 09, 2018, 02:56:14 PM »
It’s probably a confidence/insecurity thing. If you chance you’re arm and get the answer you want you never have to venture onto shaky ground. I gave up doing this years ago.  It only leads to more awkwardness, as has been demonstrated here. It takes some people longer than others to arrive at this conclusion, and it also depends of course how easy it is to faint and get away with it, and how direct that person was in the first place.  I’ve always been pretty direct, possibly a bit too much so, but there’s still the pride/embarrassment/vulnerability hurdle to get over. Of course it might just be the case that she doesn’t like the dark. Like I said, it’s impossible to know what’s going on in someone else’s head, and in my opinion, best not to speculate until you have more information.

I fell asleep this morning after the boy went to school and slept too late, so now I’m doing extra jobs to make up for it.     

oldbutnew...

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36049 on: Jan 10, 2018, 12:25:05 AM »
I miss what this place used to be, seeing old beeries and reliving the memories brought me back here. It's changed so much.

Gap this place isn't what it used to be in the days of Mummy and the Barge.   People change and things change.  This site is still going which is something.   When Mummy left, this place could have folded but someone else took it over which we are all thankful for regardless of how often we look on here.

Offline hellohowareyoutoday

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36050 on: Jan 10, 2018, 04:15:44 AM »
Well, a big problem is the bystander effect. People want magical results without having to contribute to the change. Also, someone's been creeping through gap's post history since that was a year ago.

oldbutnew...

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36051 on: Jan 10, 2018, 08:52:37 AM »
Nothing wrong with answering a post from a year ago if the poster is here now and would read the reply.  However even if they never logged on again they could still read it as a guest

Offline Artist

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36052 on: Jan 10, 2018, 01:27:17 PM »
Lust for Life, Slantrhyme

That indirectness and wanting other people to read your clues/mind is sometimes really annoying me too. I have found it in British people but also in certain types of personalities regardless of their background. Mostly ones with low confidence. I prefer assertiveness. Being assertive among 'polite' indirect people you can easily be called aggressive!  ::)
And what about their false politeness - it is like they impose some bad trait on you because their own inadequacies.
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
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Offline Trifle

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36053 on: Jan 10, 2018, 02:50:08 PM »
^ My European friends are constantly asking me what British people mean.  ;D

Offline Artist

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36054 on: Jan 10, 2018, 02:56:49 PM »
Haha, I don't doubt that. I have been here for long time and am still learning. I think I am on advanced level now  ;D
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
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Offline Slantrhyme

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36055 on: Jan 15, 2018, 09:44:33 PM »
 It’s the 15th today! I was thinking it was the 14th  ??? ???

Offline Trifle

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36056 on: Jan 16, 2018, 11:29:55 AM »
Why has The Guardian changed all its colours on the app. I’m not sure I like it.

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Offline Slantrhyme

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36058 on: Jan 16, 2018, 02:17:53 PM »
 I hope they don’t go like the Indi. Some of that stuff is a bit sensationalist nowadays and it annoys me. While I read the guardian partly through confirmation bias I admit, I do find them to be a bit more informative than other publications, shall we say. 

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Re: What are you thinking right now ?
« Reply #36059 on: Jan 16, 2018, 02:22:56 PM »
I am not happy with any newspaper today. Quality has deteriorated so much. Clicks and money is the motivator.
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
― Anne Lamott