Author Topic: Are we becoming complacant ?  (Read 3518 times)

Offline millicent

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #15 on: Nov 27, 2007, 09:24:24 PM »
Relationships change a lot, if you feel that something is missing and want to change it, then talk to her, find out what she thinks,  then come up with some new ideas that might bring back a bit of spark.

I think that's great advice.

You don't stop changing just because you're in a relationship. And the whole thing about 'long term' is that it is likely that there will be ups and downs.
But if you give up at the first sign of boredom or difficulty or 'grass is greener', you may miss out on something really great.

I don't think a good relationship is something that 'just happens', it takes effort on both sides.

Date again, act like it is your first time!

Again, great advice.

Never, ever stop dating.

I've been with my g/f for 10 years 8 months and we even had dates when she was having chemo last year.
There's no excuse to stop.
'if you take away the cake, the icing is meaningless.'

Offline Uncle Pants

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #16 on: Nov 28, 2007, 12:22:33 AM »
Re: FUN

Life without fun would suck. You can do things that are fun at home. Not everyone finds the same things fun - you might like making jam and she might like playing with Lego. I wouldn't expect everyone else to like the same things I like. Not all fun things have to involve other people.

Why don't you just decide what you'd like to do that's fun, and if she wants to do it too, then that's extra good.
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lizbeth321

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #17 on: Nov 28, 2007, 03:31:01 PM »
Thanks for all the edvice .
Will give it sum serious thought .

Offline El Stinko

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #18 on: Nov 28, 2007, 04:33:59 PM »
What about a weekend away?  Find a hotel somewhere and shoot off for the weekend.  It doesn't have to be anywhere fancy either.  In fact, my favourite memories of weekends away have been at vile guest houses or golfing hotels full of wedding parties. 

Offline Rafaella

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #19 on: Nov 28, 2007, 04:38:44 PM »
Being spontaneous makes a massive difference, we've found - whenever we plan something it ends up being disappointing cos we feel under too much pressure to enjoy it. When we do stuff on impulse we don't have time to worry about whether it's going to be fun, it just is.

For the chocolate was health-giving and NOURISHING, and the more I ate, the more BEAUTIFUL I became.

Gingerbeer - more fun than photocopying or checking spreadsheets.

Kesstrel

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #20 on: Nov 28, 2007, 04:41:14 PM »
We both have grown up children .
We used to go out all the time and spend ALL NITE chatting and not sleeping.

The all night talking thing is exhausting, and as lovely as it is, I think it's unsustainable.

Relationships move through phases, I think you have just moved into the next phase. It's perfectly possible to keep the fun in - make sure you communicate, do things you are both enjoying, and take the time to surprise eachother once in a while :)

Offline El Stinko

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #21 on: Nov 28, 2007, 04:43:33 PM »
And, if you want to absolutely piss yourselves laughing, join a drama class.  Honestly, a few years ago I did an evening class called Introduction to Drama.  I spent the duration of the class trying not to giggle then the rest of the weekend hooting over it. 

Offline M&M

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #22 on: Nov 28, 2007, 07:54:52 PM »
Being spontaneous makes a massive difference, we've found - whenever we plan something it ends up being disappointing cos we feel under too much pressure to enjoy it. When we do stuff on impulse we don't have time to worry about whether it's going to be fun, it just is.



This is so true for me and my better half...
Plan anything and we know it'll be shite... doesn't stop us planning but we tend to do things more at the spur of the moment now...
M&M

Offline M&M

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #23 on: Nov 28, 2007, 07:56:57 PM »
The all night talking thing is exhausting, and as lovely as it is, I think it's unsustainable.


we still do that every few months and i love it.

Would only find it exhausting if it was everyday that i had to drag myself into work without a wink of sleep and a hard on from last night...
M&M

Kesstrel

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Re: Are we becoming complacant ?
« Reply #24 on: Nov 28, 2007, 07:59:08 PM »
The all night talking thing is exhausting, and as lovely as it is, I think it's unsustainable.


we still do that every few months and i love it.

Would only find it exhausting if it was everyday that i had to drag myself into work without a wink of sleep and a hard on from last night...

Every few months is fine. Every night last week? *weeps with exhaustion* But it's so much FUN...