Author Topic: RF Stuff & random disclosures!  (Read 646350 times)

kate b

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #30 on: Oct 16, 2007, 08:46:05 PM »
Edith: don't stop posting. If you want GB to be a certain way, all you can do is do everything you can to contribute what you feel should be there and what you need/ want to say. I've considered moving on before but there is much that holds me still - well, a handful of individuals actually - and ultimately I think perhaps the thing is to dilute the more 'negative' stuff with your own energy which is so very positive, reflective and kind.

Offline rosypie

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #31 on: Oct 16, 2007, 10:29:13 PM »
awww, Edith - BIG hug for you. We miss our London friends completely. It's the only thing about London that we do miss deeply.

I agree about the threads - I post elsewhere if I don't want to get the "you're doing it wrong" replies that you so often see on here.
I ate my way out. I love caramel.

Offline rosypie

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #32 on: Oct 16, 2007, 10:30:12 PM »
I have a new mobile - it's shiny and ace but I've buggered up my contacts...
I ate my way out. I love caramel.

Offline minicorrect

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #33 on: Oct 17, 2007, 11:11:55 AM »
I just got sent this extremely randomly - I don't read the Daily Mail and don't have children - its almost like they're teasing me!  But might be useful for some of you new mums and mums-to-be:

http://www.lyonsdown.co.uk/supplements/YourBaby.pdf

Enjoy!

Oh - and in a bar the other day, my GBF picked up a magazine called FQ - its for cool, trendy Dads but I loved it - lots of gadget chat and stuff - much more me than some mothers mag!  Look out for it if you haven't seen it already.

http://www.fqmagazine.co.uk/
 ;D

Edith

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #34 on: Oct 17, 2007, 11:15:59 AM »
Thanks you guys - was just feeling tired of what seem to be deliberately confrontational posts ruining what could have been an interesting discussion. There are some such excellent discussions on here too, some of them have made me rethink my approach to parenting in a way.

We have a large mouse in the house. It likes eating chocolate we didn't know we had. How do we encourage it to leave the house? We have been pathetically screaming and perching on the sofas with broom in hand poking at it - Monty's been rushing around squealing in horror at us! Nextdoors cat isn't interested and nextdoors 'man' has come in with his big boots and tried to help. All feminism goes out of the window when mouse comes to stay.

Offline Pandora

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #35 on: Oct 17, 2007, 11:42:04 AM »
I wonder why we should have to tolerate the harsh invasion of the deliberate and hateful provocative contributor. 

Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb in what should be a 'safe space' for lesbian mothers to share thoughts and engage in healthy debate. 

I felt that what happened was extremely unhealthy and has the potential to drive away mothers who gain benefit, support and companionship from this space. 
'Nothing tastes as good as being thin' Oprah Winfrey

Offline merce

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #36 on: Oct 17, 2007, 11:59:49 AM »
I didn't like the argument on the other thread either but I think the sensible thing to do in that case is leave the thread or not engage. This IS a discussion board after all and whilst I dislike it when people get shouty and rude, it's all too easy to misinterpret people's tone online. Please, don't anyone go! I like it here.

I've been a crap mum today. otherwise I would be broody too.

Diesel

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #37 on: Oct 17, 2007, 12:05:49 PM »
I wonder why we should have to tolerate the harsh invasion of the deliberate and hateful provocative contributor. 

Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb in what should be a 'safe space' for lesbian mothers to share thoughts and engage in healthy debate. 

I felt that what happened was extremely unhealthy and has the potential to drive away mothers who gain benefit, support and companionship from this space. 

Oh, I agree.

I'd like to point out to all those who "contributed" to the 2 year old thread the sign hanging over the door of this area-

"Rainbow Families
For all those who have children at the forefront of their minds. To share a happy thought, concern, or simply make contact with lesbian and gay parents, parents-to-be and their supporters"


Offline minicorrect

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #38 on: Oct 17, 2007, 01:32:58 PM »
I wonder why we should have to tolerate the harsh invasion of the deliberate and hateful provocative contributor. 

Unfortunately, much as we dislike it, it does seem to be the way our world is - we choose free speech we have to deal with the consequences:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2677098.ece

And possibly without overtly provocative opinions we might never question our own beliefs and standards.  I hope that this is what this guy is doing - trying to provoke to encourage discussion, rather than merely alienate and encourage hate.  But somehow I doubt it.
 :'(

Offline Slinky

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #39 on: Oct 17, 2007, 04:15:40 PM »
I wonder why we should have to tolerate the harsh invasion of the deliberate and hateful provocative contributor. 

Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb in what should be a 'safe space' for lesbian mothers to share thoughts and engage in healthy debate. 

I felt that what happened was extremely unhealthy and has the potential to drive away mothers who gain benefit, support and companionship from this space. 

Whilst I agree that the tone of the arguments was not favourable to the ethos of Rainbow Families - and I can totally understand your indignation and anger.  I do think that your post in itself is quite hateful and deliberately provocative.  And will only further entrench the polar positions between those with and without children.

I do think it is important sometimes to be reminded of the opinions of those without children - as when you have children they are (quite rightly) the centre of your world - and sometimes you can forget that different people have different lives and priorities.

I was sad that what could have been an interesting thread about age appropriate behaviours of children and also a wider discussion about children in society became about peoples disgruntlement with children and in part a stab at 'bad' parenting. Let's hope we can get it back on track.
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. - Jane Austen

fetishkitty

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #40 on: Oct 17, 2007, 04:19:05 PM »
Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb

Directed at me?

kitty

Offline Destined4Hades

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #41 on: Oct 17, 2007, 05:00:44 PM »
Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb

Directed at me?

kitty

I don't think comments like the above "empty womb" quote are at all helpful, and could in fact be construed as quite hateful, f'r instance to women who have experienced problems conceiving.

Although I do not have children, I contributed to the "two year old behaviour" thread, and I do hope my own contribution was balanced and constructive, which it was intended to be.

If non-parents are not welcome here, I would respect the space and stay out of it, just as I stay out of WOC.

But I think that would be a shame, really. I have an interest in lesbian parenting, in kids and their development, in the experiences of gay families.  I often find the experiences and viewpoints shared on this board very insightful and interesting - often fascinating on so many levels.

If a parent had expressed some of the "bitter words" on that thread, would that have been more tolerable?

hades x


Offline DrHaus

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #42 on: Oct 17, 2007, 05:26:05 PM »

He doesn't do sitting down or stopping or doing as he is told.

He does non-stop crazy busy boy stuff.  But he's fab.

Tomorrow, we are taking a 21.30 night flight to Malta and he's going to be screaming and shouting and racing around Stansted like a whirligig and then keeping everyone awake on the flight probably by crying and struggling and snatching and grabbing and trying to bite his sisters.

Buy, hey, it's just the way it is.

We're well used to the filthy looks now!

Px

I wonder why we should have to tolerate the harsh invasion of the deliberate and hateful provocative contributor. 

Do we want the bitter words of the empty womb in what should be a 'safe space' for lesbian mothers to share thoughts and engage in healthy debate. 

I felt that what happened was extremely unhealthy and has the potential to drive away mothers who gain benefit, support and companionship from this space. 

Another "bitter empty womb" signing in. 

Pandora - you seem to be adding to the devisiveness of this area with YOUR intolerant attitude and harsh words.

I don't particularly like paying for expensive plane tickets / resturant meals / entertainment only to have to endure kids running about unsupervised, screaming, etc - especially if I had to tolerate the blatant ignoring of any one elses discomfort, by the parents.
 
I don't have a go at the kids or the parents though, being a part of society - I just put up with it. Kids are important, right? And they are just kids.
Parents are adults though, and I can't see why we cannot expect some level of personal responsibility from them.

How defensive and mean spirited you sound.

redred

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #43 on: Oct 17, 2007, 05:29:55 PM »
...and my imput to the two year old thread was observational rather than critical. If anything, i raised a concern (which is mentioned in the rainbow families' banner).

as for the empty womb thing.... how do you know anyone who's contributed's parental status? Very, very dodgy ground in my book.
« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2007, 05:48:09 PM by redred »

Edith

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Re: RF Stuff & random disclosures!
« Reply #44 on: Oct 17, 2007, 06:35:54 PM »
Please let's not repeat it all on this thread now. I don't think it's constructive arguing, if I'm allowed to say that.