Author Topic: Step families  (Read 1174 times)

Offline Mosaic

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Step families
« on: Apr 15, 2007, 09:22:02 PM »
I'm in a new relationship and my gf has an 11 year old son, my daughter is 5.  We all like each other which is a good starting point.  :)  Hoewver, I'm aware that step families can have ups and downs - any tips from please from other Beeries who've already trodden this road?  Thanks.
Have lived and loved.  Still living (just) and am definitely still in love.

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Re: Step families
« Reply #1 on: Apr 17, 2007, 10:30:05 AM »
I only once had a relationship with another mother, and in our case it was never really going to last.  We had been good friends for years and were both reeling from the end of long term relationships with the partners we had had the children with (also women).  For us it was important to protect the status of both of our "families of three" and we did stuff together, much as we had before, when we had done stuff together as families of four.  We wanted to make sure that when we were ready to move on (which we did, after a year) that the kids would not have to grieve for yet more lost/broken relationships.  It worked for us.  When we were no longer going out together we managed, after about a month, to keep up the sleepovers and weekend activities for the kids.  Eventually after about two or three more years the friendship has dissolved (my choice, and the kids had already grown apart a bit).

I think this was only possible because the kids had about 6 years close friendship behind them at the start of new adult realtionship.  Usually I think more or less than this are the answers - less contact if you're not sure about the adult relationship, and much more cohesion and building of new family dynamics if you are committed to the new adult relationship.