Author Topic: finding yourself or coming out  (Read 74053 times)

Offline sally33

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #330 on: Aug 30, 2013, 09:30:07 PM »
Posted this on a different thread but this seems to be a better place for my post :
 Hi , well I have been searching for somewhere to help take a load off , looks like you lot may have  ;)drawn the short straw!!! Lol !!! I'm 37 & have two wonderful sons . Divorced from their dad in 2006 ( we became more like brother & sister, no sex) I've since been in a relationship that is more or less over as the same thing is happening .i care about him but I just don't want to be intimate .  I have always known I have been attracted to women but have never ever verbalised it to anyone. Lately my sexuality is on my mind all the time. When I was in my early teens I had an experience  that was same sex . I have also kissed another girl , as a mess about , sounds stupid but I was really turned on . I have been so down the last year , as I working through things I've been trying to find me . I've gone from long hair to short hair . Changing what things I do. I'm becoming to realise that it's more down to this then anything else . I know that it's only me that can deal with this but really need any help or advice or opinions. As I said I haven't spoken to anyone . So many things going round my head , Lol feel like a blathering idiot but , hey it's typed so I'm sending it ......

Well done noodles ...I won't wish you good luck as you won't need it....a whole new exciting lesbian world awaits you.  You won't regret jumping in. 
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. ~ William Gibson

whome?

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #331 on: Sep 23, 2013, 04:40:26 PM »
Hi all.  :)

I have just spent the afternoon reading this thread and WOW thank you, thank you xxx So many stories, I feel that I am not alone any longer.  My heart is warm with feeling that I have found somewhere that I could belong to and excitement of things and friends to come.  I am so glad I have found GB :0)

Offline Musette

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #332 on: Sep 29, 2013, 08:35:51 PM »
^ that's how I felt when I joined about 3 years ago :D

Welcome to GB, whome? :)
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

whome?

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #333 on: Sep 30, 2013, 01:52:21 PM »
Thanks MuSeTTe xx

I have been doing a lot of reading and also read half of the book Lesbian Epiphanies, Women coming out in later life by Karol L. Jensen.  Makes very interesting reading.  Lots of thinking too, which is good and well not so good too.  I feel happy and relaxed with who I am but also well a bit unsure of what the future holds for me.  But that is ok ;)  Living and learning as they say. xx

Offline Naturale

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #334 on: Oct 02, 2013, 10:48:21 PM »
Thanks for the name of that book i may need to read it!!! I've been a lesbian for 5 years now though i'm very comfortable in my skin and fairly confident i often feel like the lesbian world is a very harsh place that i'm finding incredibly hard to navigate! but i'm certain i'll get there at just the right time :)

Offline entish

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #335 on: Oct 11, 2013, 11:56:30 AM »
I have been living with my now ex g/f and my children for the best part of 5 years but I'm still not sure I am out. I recently as part of my uni course had write a piece introducing myself as a person. I still haven't done it because I'm not sure I can actually write the words - I am a lesbian. I don't know if that's because I am fundamentally stroppy and refuse to be labelled, whether I am hedging my bets in case by some extremely unlikely chance I fall for a man or whether I am just scared of my colleagues reactions .
So I am testing it out . I am a lesbian. I love women.
I left my children s father 6 years ago and threw myself onto the scene. I knew that it was absolutely the right thing to do . Despite meeting the odd unpleasant player I have never felt more comfortable or relaxed in myself. I admitted to myself that I have had real feelings for women for years .
My family have been awful about it and I have been totally excluded. That said my children have been amazing.
Now single again I am free to start rebuilding my life and I would very much like that life to include a realationship with a woman.
If you don't ask you don't get !

Offline Megan

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #336 on: Oct 20, 2013, 04:01:49 PM »
I came out last Friday, to some people, and it feels...good!

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #337 on: Oct 21, 2013, 07:28:43 AM »
Hooray for you Megan. Congratulations  :)

Coming out feels great. I had a load of other crap to deal with when I came out but still, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Good luck with your emerging lesbianity. It's really good fun you know...  ;D

Offline Musette

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #338 on: Dec 16, 2013, 11:11:12 PM »
Didn't really know where to post this and I don't often use the word awesome, but this is.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-4-year-old-girl-asked-a-lesbian-if-shes-a-boy-she-responded-the-awesomest-way-possible?g=3
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Klasse

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #339 on: Dec 20, 2013, 09:54:48 PM »
I came out last Friday, to some people, and it feels...good!
We'll done Megan, that's awesome!

Offline bros_86

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #340 on: Jan 31, 2014, 10:12:53 PM »
well i dont know if this is the right place to vent.....but I suppose this is the start of my coming out journey, so after reading all your stories and personal journeys I shall share mine....

I have always been interested in guys or so i thought, Had boyfriends, fancied guys, never really even questioned my sexuality.  I'd kissed girls and it had never been a issue, even kissed lesbian girls and never thought anything of it.  Was turned on by both men and women, but just thought that was a normal feeling. I've always thought females more beautiful than men and I always connect better with women but thats always been on a friendship level. 
So much so that even in my second year of uni when me and my best friend drunkly made out it was never really an issue, I think she was more freaked out than me.....but when it became more regular the sexual tension which we never noticed before just exploded!  This threw us into our own little secret world of every wonderful thing that love brings.  We had our own private relationship and it was wonderful.  It lasted for 2 and a half years.  Know one knew, not even the people we lived with.  I denied any rumours and she just went along.  We broke up when uni finished on mutual terms as i was going traveling and she was moving back home.  It was painful but I suppose I distracted myself from the pain with men!  She however came out fully and had a few other relationships.  After a year and a half apart we decided we couldn't live without each other and again got back together.  Unfortunately my fear of the dreaded 'outing' was still too much and I forced her back into a secret relationship....which ultimately was the end of us.  we were together for another 2 years until she had had enough, and it resulted in her cheating on me because this person accepted her.  I feel I lost a real love and it was all down to my own fear and selfishness. 
Now after a year I am in a position to learn from my mistakes and explore what I should of done all those years ago.  As much as i have only outed myself to a few close friends I am making the steps to explore my sexuality and learn about myself and what I want. 

Your stories have really encouraged me and made me realise I shouldn't be afraid and I shouldn't focus on what other people think of me.


So here is to the start of my journey, being myself and learning to love it.....

Offline Musette

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #341 on: Jan 31, 2014, 10:48:27 PM »
^ good luck with your journey, bros_86 :)
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Klasse

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #342 on: Jan 31, 2014, 10:49:52 PM »
Hi bros, congratulations on taking the first steps to coming out! Everybody starts somewhere even if it was a few years coming. I came out at 27 and I can say that life has only got better now I'm out. It might take time to feel comfortable but it gets easier. You'll get there. Life's too short otherwise.

Offline truestory

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #343 on: Feb 01, 2014, 02:03:02 AM »
What if some people don't feel like coming out? And generally share the personal stuff..Anyway, why such irrelevant bunch, for example as co-workers, should know the details of someone else's life?! Why everybody care so much about what's going on in other people's bedrooms?
So basically, if you're private person, everyone assumes either you're single, or gay. ;D Do I work with morons, or it's just common everywhere, where you sort of getting to know people better?
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Offline Porridge

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Re: finding yourself or coming out
« Reply #344 on: Feb 01, 2014, 08:02:57 AM »
I think it's human nature to want to get to know your colleagues better. After all, you potentially spend huge periods of time in their company.  I'd hate to constantly have to avoid answering questions about what I did the weekend, or who with.  And even if they didn't know or ask about my sexuality, the amount of times my partner and her kids come up in conversation would be a give away.  I've never declared my sexuality to work colleagues, but they've all figured it out fairly quickly.

I can certainly think of situations where I wouldn't want to announce my sexuality to work colleagues, and I'm very aware that it's a hugely personal thing to talk about.  But I'd struggle to live a lie after 4 years of working 48hrs a week with those people.  And, it's nice to be able to talk about what I've done, who I've seen, where I've been in my time off work.  The fact that we have such discussions, and that my colleagues ask how my partner and her children are means a lot to me, and makes the working environment more friendly and pleasant.
« Last Edit: Feb 01, 2014, 08:14:01 AM by Porridge »