Ettiquete - what does a beginner need to know?

[DaddyBear]

This is a really good thread.

Can it be made sticky?

only if you get rid of the freaky goat ..... man it's like a bad acid trip dude *lmfao*



*lol* 

And as if by magic, someone stole my goat..... 

 
Twas not me hun I can still see the little bleater *lol*

[dragonfly]

As I started it...

I lean more to risk aware kink.  We can't make anything 100% safe and actually it is fun to be scared sometimes.  I needed to know what to do to make it "safe" for me to take the risks that turn me on.

I spent an hour or so completing a looong checklist for someone and I kind of lost the will to live with it, to static and little scope to develop.  These days I'm much clearer about what my "nos" are and I keep adding things to my shopping lilst (my own personal list of kinky things to do) when I see things or read about them.

I love email and online negotiating, it can be very hot, but I feel very wary if someone really hasn't a clue what gets them off.

And welcome to the Dungeon Assada

[Woofy Bear]

Risk-aware consensual kink
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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A risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) is any of several phrases used by portions of the BDSM community to describe themselves and their philosophies. The term is sometimes also seen as risk-accepted consensual kink.

"Risk-aware consensual kink" is a term that was coined in reaction to current dissatisfaction within the BDSM community regarding the political issues (internal and external) surrounding the "safe, sane and consensual" ethos that many people use to describe their form of consensual BDSM. Specifically, RACK is intended to embrace edgeplay and play that is engaged in without safewords. But note that legal consent may not create a defence to criminal liability for any injuries caused during edgeplay and that, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm in English law.

RACK is intended as a philosophy, and does not specifically refer to any particular type of BDSM play or activity.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RACK

[dykadelic]

I just think you need to know its ok to say no, or safeword, or maybe not quite so hard?

something i learnt the hard way, but now feel really confident doing.

also i would encourage newbies to get to know their potential play partners style before suggesting  a scene because it may be that even the subtlest of differences results in a really unsatisfactory scene for both.

[Cafard]

You know, when I started going to BDSM events, I was so worried about etiquette and getting it right that it may well have prevented me having such a good time.  I wish I'd been braver, introduced myself to more people and just talked to them rather than being frightened to approach them because they were a top or whatver.  My basic advice to a newbie would be don't be a wanker.  The etiquette is not so much different to that in other parts of life. 

[sz]

ok so am now a newbe with some wonderful menories and experences

1. talk, always if ya cant talk to the person ya playin with why do ya wanna play

2. ask anyone anythin, every1 i've meet has been more than happy to answer my questions

3. if ya wanna try out somethin ask around about who good at it, make it an experence of feelins, you mite start out thinkin 'oh i wouldnt like that' and end up lovin it. or the other way round.

4. lists =good idea to look through weather you use them or not, gives you ideas and can make you wonder down a path you never noticed be4
as afr as usin them they are a great way of buildin understandin with a play partner but thats just worked for me, its all personal, and we were sort of time

5.  be honest with ur self, if you dont ya'll never find out all the amazin stuff that could be pat of ya playin. if a a top like me, findin out ya a switch can be a head fuck, but as long as ya honest ya get there

6.  enjoy

hugs to ya all

[dragonfly]

Clubs have cloakrooms where you can leave the stuff you don't want to carry around all night.

If you leave your stuff under a piece of equipment in what is clearly a play room it really isn't acceptable to go back and collect it when there are people playing in there   It also isn't acceptable to talk loudly about it outside the closed door to the point where the players have to break off because you have put them off.

USE THE CLOAKROOM OR CARRY YOUR STUFF WITH YOU

[Bertie]

Clubs have cloakrooms where you can leave the stuff you don't want to carry around all night.

If you leave your stuff under a piece of equipment in what is clearly a play room it really isn't acceptable to go back and collect it when there are people playing in there   It also isn't acceptable to talk loudly about it outside the closed door to the point where the players have to break off because you have put them off.

USE THE CLOAKROOM OR CARRY YOUR STUFF WITH YOU

It sounds as if you are speaking from experience there.

[dragonfly]

Clubs have cloakrooms where you can leave the stuff you don't want to carry around all night.

If you leave your stuff under a piece of equipment in what is clearly a play room it really isn't acceptable to go back and collect it when there are people playing in there   It also isn't acceptable to talk loudly about it outside the closed door to the point where the players have to break off because you have put them off.

USE THE CLOAKROOM OR CARRY YOUR STUFF WITH YOU

It sounds as if you are speaking from experience there.

It does, doesn't it

[gwynn]

Service oriented dominants would add that it is obviously useful to have the resources and abilities of another human at their disposal.

well, what i really require at the moment is a maid,....anyone? anyone?

[jad]

Service oriented dominants would add that it is obviously useful to have the resources and abilities of another human at their disposal.

well, what i really require at the moment is a maid,....anyone? anyone?

Daily rates of pay?

[Kiwi]

Thanks to all who have contributed to this thread, I have really enjoyed reading it. 

[Jai]

This thread has been very inciteful. Definately a good thread for any newbie to read, I know I've learnt a lot. Thank you all.

[Destined4Hades]

Tops are always right and you must try very hard to please them always.

 

_{I've had a few glasses of merlot, can you tell?}

[Kaelyx]

So, how do you go about getting into BDSM in the first place

Being quite shy I wouldn't go to somewhere like Purr alone, I don't know anyone to tag along with and I don't really want to wait to find a partner already involved in BDSM or even limit myself to looking for partners already experienced.

So those of you who didn't get into it via girlfriends how did you approach it?

<------- completely and absolutely new to this 'scene'