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[fluffybunnykins]

switching... I can very easily switch with the same person. I don't really play around much anymore (lazy and broke) and generally stick to the same person and don't find it very difficult. Sometimes I can go from sub to domme in 4.5 seconds or get "flipped" (domme to sub/top to bottom) if someone pushes the right buttons in the right order and I'm in the mood. Usually it happens in different scenes with the same person but it might occur in the same one depending on the fight.

of course I also go in phases of always being on the bottom or always topping/domming.

of course there's always the screamed threat of "you fucking WAIT till I get up you fucking bastard!!!" of being tied down and being inflicted with things I might not be agreeable to. and if I'm in the mood, I'll chase them down and subject them to my version after...

[Genericlezza]

Emotional fallout from a kinky relationship. How to deal with etc?

[Captain Furry]

Emotional fallout from a kinky relationship. How to deal with etc?

Is it really any different from the emotional fallout from a non-kinky relationship?

[Genericlezza]

Emotional fallout from a kinky relationship. How to deal with etc?

Is it really any different from the emotional fallout from a non-kinky relationship?

Yeah cos it's harder to meet someone for anything other than play.

[Cheska]

Emotional fallout from a kinky relationship. How to deal with etc?

Is it really any different from the emotional fallout from a non-kinky relationship?

Yeah cos it's harder to meet someone for anything other than play.

Is it? Not in my experience but I tend to do play within a monog relationship. Can't do the whole public casual play thing, although I've tried it a couple of times. Just not for me.

[Metropolis]

As my status suggest I’m a newbie!! I went to Klub Fukk for the first time just the other day and although a bit quiet it was still an eye open and exciting.....(I’m still wound up despite some action!!)   And also very friendly.  ( I found reading this message board  beforehand very helpful so thank you  )

I find myself somewhat confused though and have so much going through my mind so sorry if this seems all mixed up...  I don’t think I would be into more hardcore end of things (who knows about later!!) and am probably very mild to most of you but....
On the one hand I now fancy trying ‘packing’ and like the idea of disciplining others ;-)
On the other I like the more submission side of things still not so sure about to much pain but like the idea of a little rough, being fucked, trying some light bondage... (and if I am honest.. by someone who can cope that I like to pee whilst being fucked!!)

-I think this means I would switch....  but not sure how you go about that? 
-Is liking the lighter side of things a goer in the BDSM community?  How do you ever get to be ‘trained’ or get the opportunity not to be a novice!!??
-Will the fact I like peeing a bit (rather than can’t help it) when being fucked be accepted? 
Does uniforms fit into the BDSM/fetish world - if this is not the right message board I apologise but very new to all this!!  (Just out of a very long term relationship and now enjoying explore a side that I never felt was ok to before)

Advice very much welcome

[Arig]

You are in absolutely the right place, the dungeon.

Peeing while getting fucked is a bonus around these parts and you should not worry about distinctions between light and heavy SM.

What is light to me, may be hard for others, and vice versa. Never use other people's scales to quantify something that shouldn't be quantified in the first place. You enjoy what you enjoy, and that is that. No light or hard about it.

There is enough variety out there to acomodate you and all others, don't worry!

As for packing, check out the Vault too, a lot of packing conversations going on there, from where to buy to how to wear. Check old threads as well as recent ones. Do a search, I am sure lots will show up! 

If you are looking for play partners, go for the usual, tell people what you like and hope they are honest in return, between Klub Fukk, Hard ON and Surrender there is a few places to go to in London to check out the other scene participants.

Also, SM Dykes Conference in Manchester in May, and before that SM dykes conference in Berlin at easter.  They are fabulous and great for begginers with their mix of workshops, ice breakers, socials and play parties!!

[Hockney]

Arig is right.  Never assume that something is "hardcore" or "light" BDSM.  One person's turn-on can be another's hard limit. 

As for going about switching, you just do it!  My advice would be to educate yourself as much as you can about your preferred types of play.  Some people take the view that one can only top/domme after being a bottom/sub.  Personally I don't subscribe to that position as some of the best tops I know have never bottomed.  Read, watch and learn.  Ask around.  Find out who is good at flogging/bondage/needles or whatever.  Don't be afraid to ask people to teach you how to do things.  Most people will be flattered and happy to help out if they can.  Also, be honest about the fact that you are novice, it's perfectly acceptable to "train" on the job!  Everybody has to start somewhere.  Playing with experienced tops and bottoms (especially when a new top) can be really helpful.

Finally, as Arig says, get yourself along to workshops and conferences if possible.  They are a lot of fun and a great (and safe) place to learn new skills and find play partners.

Enjoy.


 

[redred]

<--- uniform fetishist. It's very alright in my book.

[Metropolis]

Decsions, decsions, but which type?!! Police...... or miltary uniform.....  Combats, T shirt & dog tag combo or officer one with a nice shirt and tie (well for the start of the night!) ummmm

[V]

Hello Everybody, Im a newbie, kinka, Well youve lost me with THE question....It would be great to know what the original question was. But really who cares. Anyway, hello every body in The Dungeon. I am a pro domme. So if anyone has any question I would be happy to anwser them for you if I can.
 

[pure evil]

perhaps not a frequently asked question, but does anyone know how horse tail floggers are made? is it at all ethical?-  i know i own at least a cow's worth of leather - but the idea of a horsetail flogger that has involved the execution of poor Neddy seems a step too far for me.
seriously considered buying one recently but this idea stopped me.

[Arig]

No answer from me, but also would like to know, since I wondered about this exact same thing only last week while perusing quality control's lovely site.

*waits for informed people to post*

[Lucifer!]

Maybe you could ask Quality Control how / where they source their horsehair?

[redred]

my experience of horse hair is for violin bows, so non pervy. It tends to come from animals slaughtered for meat.

http://www.johnsonstring.com/horse.htm