Hi ladies very interesting site.
Does anyone have any sound advice in terms of once you have found your sperm donor, how do you go through the process of checking the sperm or rather how to do you get the person to have himself checked out and for how long should this process take to ensure everything is Kosher... Has anyone had this experience?
My chap had gotten himself tested for STIs before he started looking for the mother of his children. He had also had the "motility" of his sperm tested to make sur eit was viable.
We talked long and hard about the safety issues.
I was looking for more than a jarful of sperm. I wanted a coparent and establishing trust was really important in this process.
How did I know that he would stay safe (I took the risk regarding infection).
How did he know I would keep my word and "allow" him to be a parent (he took the emotional risk)?
When you are consciously creating another human being you need to communicate. How does anyone know anything? How do you know when you can trust? How do the str8s do this kind of thing?
I could have asked my donor/dad to have a second HIV test. He was willing to have me accompany him to the clinic for the appointments to do this. I decided I didn't need to do it.
You may think I took unnecessary risks, but I was quite sure fairly quickly that this was an honourable man with whom I was willing to make babies. I tend to get in to the biggest trouble when I don't follow my instinct/intuition.
We found each other via the mixed personals in Pink paper. We wrote, we phoned and then we met up. We decided that we wanted to get to know each other better and after about 2 months agreed to suspend any negotiations we were having with other people for the next 6 months. I started trying to get pregnant in July 1995, although we agred that cycle 1 didn't count, that would be a practice run
My expectation on him during the getting to know you process was that he didn't drink to excess, ate well and ingested lots of zinc to make sperm with. I also expected him to practice safer sex for the duration. I made a similar undertaking for my part in the process - you both have to be equally committed.
As far as location went, I was in Darkest Bucks, he was in London - about an hour on a train and then some local travel at each end. I had no way at all of knowing if he was keeping his end of the bargain. Pure trust.
This trust is really imprtant in making babies, you are creating another human life and have major responsibilities. If you don't trust the person you are doing it with, then don't do it. Only you know when you know you trust someone.