Author Topic: How far does your sexuality stretch?  (Read 8884 times)

Offline mint

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #15 on: Apr 22, 2018, 01:07:01 PM »
Don't mind 'cis' personally.
Think it's just a descriptor.

But as to all the other stuff, nope. How arrogant for people to try to tell people who they are or can be attracted to!

I find penises foul... I wouldn't want to do anything sexually with that. Always have, I remember in high school having a (VERY patient!!) boyfriend, for 3 months, didn't even kiss him, think i was 16, at that point I just knew but I guess I thought I'd try dating him and see how it worked out/felt.

The changing room issue does bother me a lot because honestly, rightly or wrongly (I think rightly) I would NOT change or want to change in a space with biological male people in there. I wuld buy the clothes and take them home, meaning another fckking trip.

Offline Betty Croker's frosted buns

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #16 on: Apr 22, 2018, 01:48:08 PM »

I saw a tweet from a trans woman yesterday saying that in a (cis) male and female couple where the woman went to work and the male partner stayed at home looking after the kids, they were exhibiting transgendered behaviour. And should consider whether they were in fact, transgendered.

Wow, I've never heard that one before. What a pile of complete crap.

This is what makes the trans thing seem  like such a cult. They are desperate to recruit everyone and it is so important to them that we all comply with their idea of gender.

Lots of trans people would also see it as a pile of crap as well and when there used to be lengthy discussions around trans id, the explanations used to be much more thought out and with consideration of "non binary" issues - but that line of thought is creeping in more and more unquestioned - sometimes put as crudely as I recorded it from Twitter and sometimes wrapped up in pseudo-scientific jargon - but its still back to the 1950's - with "girls do this" and "boys do that" prescriptions.

There is a transcentricity going on. Where we are being required not just to include trans people and trans sensibilities  and the feelings of trans people - (which is not a problem) but to centre trans people in considering any issue. To make the potential effect on them the most important way we view any issue, even how we see our own sexual and biological identity. And that has never happened before with any political struggle that I am aware of.

I don't see that as being driven by trans people. I see that as being driven in part by some very vocal, narcissistic trans activists and by the liberal establishment for acquiescing to it because they don't want the hassle of dealing with it or to be vulnerable to being labelled bigots.
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt.......

Online Slantrhyme

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #17 on: Apr 22, 2018, 02:11:02 PM »
 I think the saddest thing is this whole issue is being Toxified  by a few people. Most trans-people that  I know do not behave like this.  A few very aggressive and unpleasant people want to  hi Jack discourse and  force everybody to nail their colours to the mast, you’re either with us or you’re a terf. I got called a terf, and I wasn’t even around when the whole radical feminism thing was going on. These few people, if you disagree with anything they say, mud sling, bully,  and close down debate. This is not a method that yields good results for anybody, especially when the people you are alienating are the very people who would probably be your biggest ally.   
the summer is ended and we are not yet saved

Offline Trifle

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #18 on: Apr 22, 2018, 02:35:17 PM »
^^ I thought narcissism was at the core of it too. It seemed to be some activists leading the nonsense with full blown NPD. But I just couldn’t understand how such a tiny group has managed to get so much influence. They’re recreating reality as if biological facts don’t matter and no one is challenging it.

As for terf-  i’m not sure what’s radical or exclusionary about wanting to open up a discussion about how all this could negatively affect women, but there seem to be a lot of lies in the press as to the agenda of peaceful women just trying to exercise their right to freedom of speech.

Offline valerie

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #19 on: Apr 22, 2018, 02:56:30 PM »
Valerie,  there's a lot of flat earthery about!
And a plethora of lady penises....
flat earthery- - - hmmmm,  need to figure that one out :)



 How arrogant for people to try to tell people who they are or can be attracted to!



agree, mint!
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Offline Betty Croker's frosted buns

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #20 on: Apr 22, 2018, 03:01:36 PM »
^^ I thought narcissism was at the core of it too. It seemed to be some activists leading the nonsense with full blown NPD. But I just couldn’t understand how such a tiny group has managed to get so much influence. They’re recreating reality as if biological facts don’t matter and no one is challenging it.

Yes. Classic narcissistic personality disorder. When in conversation I’ve tried to get them to demonstrate empathy or perspective take and they haven’t got the equipment to do it.
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt.......

Offline Blythe

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #21 on: Apr 22, 2018, 04:22:03 PM »
I'm relieved to see no one has drunk the koolaid and swallowed the transactivist nonsense.
What's very worrying however is that many young people at University and in LGBT youth groups have and they are the places that young lesbians are first encountering.
Many butch or even boyish teenage lesbians are being funnelled down the transitioning route. The figures have risen by 1000% in five years.
At this rate they'll be no lesbians left.
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Offline BioL0gical

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #22 on: Apr 22, 2018, 05:28:26 PM »
This posted by someone on Mumsnet sums things up for me:

“To the woman who shrieked at me that I am a bigot and a terf and a hateful transphobe for defending women’s rights,
Ten, fifteen years from now, I ask you to remember me.

Remember me when you have your first baby and you’re referred to throughout your pregnancy as a birthing individual, a pregnant person, and it makes you feel kind of dehumanised and you wish they’d just call you a woman, a mother, because that’s what you are. But they’re not allowed, because it’s illegal to say only women can be pregnant and give birth.

Remember me when you give birth and you feel vulnerable and exposed and you really want a woman beside you who understands what you’re going through and instead your midwife is a six foot man with stubble in a dress and you know he isn’t a woman but you’re not allowed to object, even when you need to be examined and you just want a woman to do it but you know you can’t say anything because that would be hate speech, even though your body is screaming no.

Remember me when your elderly mother, who has lost her mind to dementia, goes into a care home and is told that her carer, Susan, is a woman, because you asked that she only be cared for by women. And even in her addled state of mind, she knows that Susan is a man, and you know Susan is a man, but you cannot object, and she has to allow Susan to perform her intimate care, because to object would be hate speech.

Remember me when your daughter comes home from school crying, the daughter who has spent the last five years training to be the best athlete in her class, her school, her district, she’s crying because Lucas in her class, one of the fastest boys, has decided he identifies as female for now and so is allowed to run in her race, and she knows it doesn’t matter how hard she trains, he will always beat her, and she can only ever hope for a silver medal now. Or bronze, if there is another Lucas.

Remember me when you go into a toilet late at night, perhaps in a bar, and there’s noone else around, and a guy walks in, he has a beard and is wearing jeans and a t shirt, and the way he looks at you seems off, and you feel afraid and unsettled and worried he might hurt you. But you can’t challenge him, because if you do he’ll say he’s a woman and has as much right as you do to be in this toilet, a place where many years ago you might have come to feel safe.

Remember me when you go for a promotion, for a board position at work that’s designated for a woman. You’ve put in the hours, you’ve worked so hard, you know you deserve it. And the position goes to Lola, who until last year was a 50 year old man. Lola will never do anything inconvenient like needing time off to have babies, or to deal with any health issues that you, a woman might face, like endometriosis, breast cancer, PND. Lola is a woman just like you, and your company are happy that they have fulfilled their quota of women members on the board.

Remember me when you read on the news that crime statistics for women committing rape and murder are on the increase, and now women carry out a much higher number of rapes and murders than they did when you were a teenager or a young woman. And you know that these ‘women’ are men and that the statistics are wrong, but to challenge this would be hate speech.

Remember me too, when these women rapists are locked up with vulnerable women in female prisons and cannot escape, because to challenge the presence of the women rapists with penises in prison with them would be hate speech.

Remember me when your son comes home from school and says that he’s learned at school that you can change sex and that some girls have penises and some boys have vaginas and that his teacher said that because he likes playing with girls and dolls that maybe he is really a girl in the wrong body. And you think, no, you are just my wonderful, unique, son, and you were born in your own body. Remember me when a few months down the line the teacher calls you in and says she’s concerned that you are not validating your son’s identity and that she’s noticed you are still referring to him by the name you so carefully chose for him when he was born, and calling him a boy, when he is actually a girl, and that she doesn’t want to have to involve social services but she’s worried she might have to if you continue to misgender your son and deny his real identity. And you know that she will, because it’s happened before in a school near you, and you are afraid.

In this brave new world that you helped to create, look around for your transactivist friends, your lefty male allies, the ones you stood beside and yellled ‘terf, transphobe, bigot’ with, with you shouting the loudest, because you wanted to show what a good ally you were, how inclusive, how progressive. Where are they now? Why, they are where they always were. Benefitting from the patriarchy. Enjoying the new, improved version of it that you helped them to build by crushing the resistance from the women who spoke up for their rights. This has all cost them nothing; it has made the world a better, easier place for men. It has cost you and your sisters who campaigned with them for virtue cookies, everything.

And me? I’ll be where I’ve always been. Fighting for your rights. Fighting to undo the damage.
I’ll have your back, as I always have done.”

Offline Blythe

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #23 on: Apr 22, 2018, 06:42:16 PM »
That sums it up brilliantly.
We are facing the compete dismantling of women's rights and spaces if we don't spread that message to people we know, work with, relatives. Everyone needs to wake up and see that women's rights matter and are under serious threat.
'Someone take Blythe's mobile phone off her before she says something silly'           kitty

Offline Wolfgang

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #24 on: Apr 22, 2018, 09:09:10 PM »
I think that if you are attracted to women *and* you believe trans women with penises are women, it is inconsistent not to at least consider them, unless you simply find penises a turn off the way some people find, say, short people or upturned noses or long labia a turn off.  As someone said on here ages ago, sexual attraction is by definition discriminatory.

If you are really asking whether trans women are women, then that's a different thread.

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Offline Blythe

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #25 on: Apr 22, 2018, 10:14:40 PM »
I don't think most lesbians think trans women with penises are women, obviously I have not asked EVERY lesbian but I've asked many.
Some may think that trans women without penises are women, I'm not sure.
Personally I think trans women are not women, they are men wishing to be women and that's fine. But I do not believe you can change your sex. You can act any way you wish but you can't change the chromosomes.
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Offline Betty Croker's frosted buns

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #26 on: Apr 22, 2018, 10:28:51 PM »
I think many people including many trans women see an obvious distinction between it being helpful and positive for people who identify as a particular gender to live as that gender - and pretending that there are no significant implications arising from the different biological and related life experiences of trans women and women born of the female sex. “Trans women are women” is just glib sloganeering in that regard to paper over the complexities.
« Last Edit: Apr 22, 2018, 10:45:46 PM by Betty Croker's frosted buns »
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt.......

Offline Top

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #27 on: Apr 22, 2018, 11:13:06 PM »
I have to come to ask gingerbeeries this question because I am perturbed, baffled and somewhat outraged to read that nowadays lesbians should happily have sex with people who have a penis
.

Where did you read this? I see some people on twitter claiming that it true but they’re not transwomen, they are people who have a problem with trans women.

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This is not a joke, it's an argument put forward by many in the trans community. Apparently us lesbians should be having sex with trans women who retain their penises because their penises are female....

People in ‘saying shit on Twitter shocker’? Gosh.


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Now call me old fashioned, or call me a vagina fetishist (yes that's apparently a thing if your boundaries don't include lady dick) but I think telling lesbians they are transphobic for not being interested in trans women is actually HOMOPHOBIC.

Yeah, it would be if it happened and I don’t mean an isolated incident, if it really was common it would be a problem. I knew a lesbian once, who had up the bum sex, with a male neighbour, when drunk; that’s not typical lesbian behaviour but you know, it takes all sorts and it did show me that not all lesbians were totally put off by dick.

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We have a sexuality not a genderality and that means we are sexually attracted to women. Women have vaginas.

Has anyone made you have sex with a trans woman?

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I asked this same question on a youngsters lesbian Facebook group to see if I am completely out of touch but they seemed to agree that penises were not of interest whoever they are attached to....

I’m glad you’ve been able to put to bed the rumour that ‘the trans’ are coming for the young lesbians.


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So Gingerbeer, please tell me what you think.

That you’re scaremongering to further a political agenda and you’ve become so over excited by it, that you’ve left off the question mark.
I'm reporting you to the mods for annoying me to the point where I become ill and have to take tranquillisers.  - Wolfie

Offline સરસ

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #28 on: Apr 22, 2018, 11:23:27 PM »
In  my mind I just go  "Hang on.. if you can find 95% of the male world population to think that your penis is part of you as a woman then I MIGHT try and think about it when high on drugs/medicine and seven bottles of whiskey later but till then move along buddy!!

No.. make that 98%.. .. No.. make it all men... 

















Truth does not depend on a consensus of opinion.

Dear karma, You're not really paying attention so I got a list of people you missed.

Offline Betty Croker's frosted buns

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #29 on: Apr 22, 2018, 11:31:44 PM »
You’re wrong, Top. There is shedloads of stuff by transactivists on social media arguing that it’s discriminatory, transphobic and transmisogynist for lesbians to not consider sex with transwomen with penises. Just because some of it is on Twitter, doesn’t mean it doesn’t count.

I’ll post some of it when I get to my PC. Can’t do it easily from my phone.

And I’ve got a political agenda for sure. To stop that shit.
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt.......