Author Topic: How far does your sexuality stretch?  (Read 36925 times)

Offline Blythe

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How far does your sexuality stretch?
« on: Apr 21, 2018, 05:35:39 PM »
I have to come to ask gingerbeeries this question because I am perturbed, baffled and somewhat outraged to read that nowadays lesbians should happily have sex with people who have a penis.

This is not a joke, it's an argument put forward by many in the trans community. Apparently us lesbians should be having sex with trans women who retain their penises because their penises are female....

Now call me old fashioned, or call me a vagina fetishist (yes that's apparently a thing if your boundaries don't include lady dick) but I think telling lesbians they are transphobic for not being interested in trans women is actually HOMOPHOBIC.

We have a sexuality not a genderality and that means we are sexually attracted to women. Women have vaginas.

I asked this same question on a youngsters lesbian Facebook group to see if I am completely out of touch but they seemed to agree that penises were not of interest whoever they are attached to....
So Gingerbeer, please tell me what you think.

Signed
A vagina fetishist
« Last Edit: Apr 21, 2018, 05:49:44 PM by Blythe »
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Offline Dizz

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #1 on: Apr 21, 2018, 05:52:48 PM »
Hmm. Call me old fashioned too.
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Offline BioL0gical

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 21, 2018, 06:22:12 PM »
It's anti-woman, anti-feminist, and plain old homophobic to tell lesbians that they must be open to having sex with a person who has a penis (also known as a man).

We have to be able to name what a woman is. A woman is an adult human female. Females are the egg-bearers of a species. It is not possible, as a human, to change your sex. What you do with your gender (i.e. how you perceive yourself) is your own business and has nothing to do with most other people. Yes, there are some females with no eggs (and never had any), but they sure as shit didn't have a penis or sperm either.

So yeah, no dick in my life, ta very much.

Offline valerie

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #3 on: Apr 21, 2018, 06:35:25 PM »
guess i have not read about this in the states. However,  to each her own!  We  all have our own tastes &
hopefully fulfill who we are by knowing who we are. Conformity to someone's sexual advice or recommendations
is like returning to the idea that the earth is flat!
The most permanent characteristic in life is change.

Offline Blythe

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #4 on: Apr 21, 2018, 06:39:46 PM »
Valerie,  there's a lot of flat earthery about!
And a plethora of lady penises....
« Last Edit: Apr 21, 2018, 07:25:17 PM by Blythe »
'Someone take Blythe's mobile phone off her before she says something silly'           kitty

Offline Plus One

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #5 on: Apr 21, 2018, 08:14:51 PM »
Male entitlement.

You can wrap it up in cowboy boots and a leather jacket or 5 inch stilettos and a cashmere sweater... it's still male entitlement.

Those demands aren't going the other way are they? No gay men are being told they *must* have sex with men without penises in the name of equality. Nope...it just us women being told who we should have sex with. Same old, same old.

Offline two monkeys

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #6 on: Apr 21, 2018, 10:07:46 PM »
How far does my sexuality stretch? Not that far.

Like 99.93% of transgender assertions and assumptions this is dangerous misogynist and homophobic hate speech.

If two consenting adults are attracted to each other and have sex, all good.

If one consenting adult and one non-consenting adult have sex it's rape. Grooming and circular arguments can't change that.
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Offline Slantrhyme

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #7 on: Apr 22, 2018, 01:22:50 AM »
 My sexuality stretches to the sex I am attracted to, not the gender. Doesnít matter how passably feminine she look, if sheís got a dick Iím not going anywhere near, end of. 
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Offline Lust for Life

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #8 on: Apr 22, 2018, 07:52:45 AM »


If two consenting adults are attracted to each other and have sex, all good.

If one consenting adult and one non-consenting adult have sex it's rape. Grooming and circular arguments can't change that.


This, quite simply.

Offline Trifle

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #9 on: Apr 22, 2018, 10:37:55 AM »
This bs from the trans community drives me crazy. And anyone who dares challenge it is slurred as a
Terf.

I donít identify with gender which is socially constructed, and constructed in a way that oppresses females,  I identify with biological sex. So the  stuff about cisgender people supposedly feeling like the gender they are born with is nonsense to me as well.

Also worrying is the trend that lesbians are now seen more frequently as being trans males.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #10 on: Apr 22, 2018, 10:49:05 AM »
Exactly.

I thought we were getting closer to a world where women could wear a suit and tie and men could wear a silver shiny mini skirt (in my Brighton of the 90s and the following decade this was accepted).

Now, just like so much else, there's more polarisation than ever.

I happen to be a woman, and I love a woman. No matter how short we cut our hair or how often we wear trousers and don't wear make-up, neither of us wants to be a man or be married to one. Why is that getting harder for other people to accept?

Offline Slantrhyme

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #11 on: Apr 22, 2018, 11:26:21 AM »
 Iím a pretty live and let live person as it goes, but I really do resent being labelled as cis. Since when has it been acceptable to force a label on someone who doesnít want it? If it was applied for any other reason, such as race or religion, it would be called out, but for some reason it seems to  have been allowed to become a thing.   
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Offline Betty Croker

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #12 on: Apr 22, 2018, 11:54:16 AM »
Exactly.

I thought we were getting closer to a world where women could wear a suit and tie and men could wear a silver shiny mini skirt (in my Brighton of the 90s and the following decade this was accepted).

I saw a tweet from a trans woman yesterday saying that in a (cis) male and female couple where the woman went to work and the male partner stayed at home looking after the kids, they were exhibiting transgendered behaviour. And should consider whether they were in fact, transgendered.

I felt like puking. Like we'd gone back 60 years in terms of civilisation. Not only in terms of how the holy cow of "self identification" disappears from the picture when you start re-labelling everyone else to suit your own definition of reality but in terms of the acceptibility or prescriptive use of vile, disempowering gender stereoptypes.

I realise there are far more sophisticated understandings of what it means to be transgender and this is as crude and ignorant understanding as you are likely to get but it has currency at the moment. I've seen it invoked a few times by transactivitists recently. Unchallenged by anyone other than so called "terfs".

Unchallenged along with statements like "trans women are more female than some "cis women" because they are performing femininity properly and some "cis women" aren't". So if you are not feminine enough - feminine like a man might design you to be - a submissive, lisping, lipsticked blow job machine that washes up and cleans the bathroom - you have been redefined as no longer a woman. So much for self identification.

The Pink Press aren't challenging these sorts of statements, LGBT societies and Stonewall aren't. Corbyn's Labour and the Lib Dems aren't. The Tories couldn't give a sh*t. They are all balls deep in fawning sympathy without looking at or caring about the dynamic lurking beneath. Or if they are conscious of it they approve of it.
 
Thankfully, in the last week or so I've see a growth in trans people online vocally rejecting some of the things done and said in their name and I hope that continues and grows.

And re: the original question - I've been turned off by cocks and bollocks my whole life - its not a transphobic long game and being gender critical is not a fancy name for transphobia. I first started thinking that gender was a load of oppressive socially constructed nonsense back in my pre-teens before I even knew transgender people existed. Surprised as some of their more narcissistic activists may be to find they play such a small role in the construction of our identities but like most lesbians and gender critical feminists I haven't constructed my sexuality nor my politics in opposition to them.
« Last Edit: Apr 22, 2018, 11:58:58 AM by Betty Croker's frosted buns »
And now I know how Joan of Arc felt.......

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #13 on: Apr 22, 2018, 01:00:27 PM »
I never understood why transvestites (back in the 90s when that was an appropriate term for men who liked or needed "to dress as women", but did not feel that they were or wanted to be women) so often dressed as the most stereotypical kind of woman, who I never had identified with: either the ultra glam sort with long hair and stilettos (had no one told them how bad those things are for your back?) or the twin set and pearls with a skirt (had no one told them that trousers were warmer and that even the over sixties had discovered them by then?). Most of all, I felt insulted that they thought that this was the only version of female that existed.

Ok, 30 years on, and partly thanks to those men who simply claimed the right to wear skirts or make up or heels if they felt like it, without stereotyping women in any way, I do get that the desire to 'dress like 'a woman' ' in the way I hate most, is partly because that right is largely denied them by society. And if they must dress like my mother, well, my mother's allowed, so why shouldn't they?

But still, all this bloody pigeonholing and telling us what a woman is, this polarisation, is dreadful, terrible, horrible, disgusting, demeaning, unbearable...I could go on.

And I cried inside when I heard that one of my gender bending heroes is no longer a gender bending man, but 'was a woman all along'. If this is true, then it's true, but I feel like society lost a strong champion for the right to just be yourself.

Ok, I've googled and read some interviews... He's calling himself a transgender man and says he 'came out as transgender 30 years ago'. So there's that as well now ::)
« Last Edit: Apr 22, 2018, 01:37:23 PM by Lust for Life »

Offline BioL0gical

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Re: How far does your sexuality stretch?
« Reply #14 on: Apr 22, 2018, 01:05:42 PM »

I saw a tweet from a trans woman yesterday saying that in a (cis) male and female couple where the woman went to work and the male partner stayed at home looking after the kids, they were exhibiting transgendered behaviour. And should consider whether they were in fact, transgendered.

Wow, I've never heard that one before. What a pile of complete crap.

This is what makes the trans thing seem  like such a cult. They are desperate to recruit everyone and it is so important to them that we all comply with their idea of gender.