Author Topic: Partner is a workaholic  (Read 193 times)

Offline nimbus

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Partner is a workaholic
« on: Dec 04, 2017, 02:21:45 PM »
hi everyone, looking for a little advice or similar experience to draw on here - my partner works very hard, runs her own business and at the moment that is 7 days a week and up to 17 hours a day. i know we are in the worst of it but she does not have a get-out plan and i suspect she is running away from herself by working so hard. when we do have time together she doesn't want to socialise at all (understandable right now with the hours) as she feels like she doesn't have anything to talk about apart from work and doesn't want to talk about work.

I feel like she is sticking her head in the sand about many things, (family, health, intimacy) and i feel like i am hanging around being supportive, waiting for some day when she is less busy, which may never happen. Anyone else had this problem and has there been a positive outcome? I love her dearly but she the situation is alienating us both and i feel kind of lonely.

Offline pure evil

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Re: Partner is a workaholic
« Reply #1 on: Dec 05, 2017, 03:45:26 PM »
Hiya, I think I've stood on boh sides of this. I've certainly had partners say 'You're a workaholic' and I've also been partnered to people who worked in industries were the 14+ hour day was seen as standard.

Being called a workaholic didn't do much for me or my relationships, sometimes I experienced that as an attempt by a partner to undermine my intense focus on things that were very important to me. Being with people who worked, worked, worked, then came home, fell over, went to sleep and went back to work, work, work. Yes it felt lonely.

I don't think there is anything that can change another person, I also find that if I make what the other person is or isn't doing my focus, that increases my unhapiness. Easier said than done, I know!! These days I'm very UNcoupley, the same amount of work focused, but I also try to make a balance with friends, outside interests, down time. I found 'anonymous' fellowships helped me to learn more about how to be responsible for my own happiness.