In Depth or in Distraction > Rainbow Families

Running out of time don't know what to do...

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Hi, hoping somebody here would have good ideas, or encouragement, or both. I'm nearly 40, single, really wanting children but don't know how to go about it. I can't afford a private clinic and the NHS does not treat single women.

I guess the very big question is, how to find a sperm donor or a possible co-parenting arrangement? I have signed up to a few websites, but it seems desperate and I'm terrified of the risks. I don't know many male gays and those I know I don't think it would be appropriate for me to ask.

I'm not from the UK and have no family here so not much support as I am losing hope and finding that so sore that I don't really want to open up about it to my friends.

Just now I'm feeling completely hopeless, down, it will never happen, I don't know how to make it happen and I've kept believing and hoping something would naturally come along but it's not looking like it.

 :-\ ??? :-\

So sorry to hear of your plight paperboy. I don't have much practical help, but I can tell you that both of our children were born when we were 42, so although it gets harder it is by no means impossible. We used a sperm bank and clinic (though i know lots of people who have got pregnant at this age naturally too) and like you were were worried about finding people online, but I can tell you that we have since met people who have found donors online and it has all gone perfectly smoothly, so don't give up hope!

Hi Sherpa, thank you so much for the encouragement! Just that is so helpful xx

I wonder if anyone would be able to share their experience -- how did they vet potential donors, how did it work out...?


Lust for Life:
Sorry Paperboy, I meant to reply to your question but apparently I forgot.

In the sticky threads at the top of this section is one called making babies faq, or something like that. It hasn't been added to for a few years but that's because a lot had already been said. I think you'll find several relevant posts in that thread.


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