In Depth or in Distraction > Rainbow Families

Running out of time don't know what to do...

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Paperboy:
Hi, hoping somebody here would have good ideas, or encouragement, or both. I'm nearly 40, single, really wanting children but don't know how to go about it. I can't afford a private clinic and the NHS does not treat single women.

I guess the very big question is, how to find a sperm donor or a possible co-parenting arrangement? I have signed up to a few websites, but it seems desperate and I'm terrified of the risks. I don't know many male gays and those I know I don't think it would be appropriate for me to ask.

I'm not from the UK and have no family here so not much support as I am losing hope and finding that so sore that I don't really want to open up about it to my friends.

Just now I'm feeling completely hopeless, down, it will never happen, I don't know how to make it happen and I've kept believing and hoping something would naturally come along but it's not looking like it.

 :-\ ??? :-\

Sherpa:
So sorry to hear of your plight paperboy. I don't have much practical help, but I can tell you that both of our children were born when we were 42, so although it gets harder it is by no means impossible. We used a sperm bank and clinic (though i know lots of people who have got pregnant at this age naturally too) and like you were were worried about finding people online, but I can tell you that we have since met people who have found donors online and it has all gone perfectly smoothly, so don't give up hope!

Paperboy:
Hi Sherpa, thank you so much for the encouragement! Just that is so helpful xx

I wonder if anyone would be able to share their experience -- how did they vet potential donors, how did it work out...?

Paperboy:
***bump...?***

Lust for Life:
Sorry Paperboy, I meant to reply to your question but apparently I forgot.

In the sticky threads at the top of this section is one called making babies faq, or something like that. It hasn't been added to for a few years but that's because a lot had already been said. I think you'll find several relevant posts in that thread.

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