Author Topic: Confidence  (Read 728 times)

Offline LBQwomenchat

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Confidence
« on: Jul 13, 2017, 07:16:31 PM »
Hey all,

At the Women's Programme HQ in Manchester at the LGBT foundation talking about confidence.

We want to know what makes YOU feel confident? :)

Offline valerie

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #1 on: Jul 14, 2017, 10:10:32 PM »
setting realistic goals and achieving them.
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Offline scouser

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #2 on: Jul 15, 2017, 12:18:37 AM »
Money, love, respect, family, friends, friendly people.  :)
One day I'll laugh about this!😑

Offline Musette

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #3 on: Jul 15, 2017, 11:29:32 PM »
Age: realising finally that I don't give a stuff what other people think of me because life's too short to worry about it. And that, frankly, most people aren't thinking about me at all anyway.
I was trying to think of some other things but actually it all boils down to that, pretty much.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Artist

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #4 on: Jul 15, 2017, 11:48:35 PM »
Believing in myself
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
― Anne Lamott

Offline Chewwy

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #5 on: Jul 16, 2017, 02:41:18 AM »
Good feedback, from colleagues or friends.  Oh, and getting to where I'm supposed to be.  :)
Hear me RoaaAAARRRRRrrrrr.......... purrrrRRRR.

Offline cigarettes and matches

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #6 on: Jul 16, 2017, 02:49:25 AM »
Same as Artist, believing in myself.
Music isn't my hobby, it's my passion.

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #7 on: Jul 16, 2017, 02:58:30 AM »
I'm confident enough.  :-*

Offline Musette

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #8 on: Jul 16, 2017, 12:55:59 PM »
Believing in myself

But what does that mean? And where does it come from? Is it innate or did you have to work at it?
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Artist

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #9 on: Jul 16, 2017, 02:24:16 PM »
This is  a very good question Mussette.
When I read this question for the first time - WHAT makes you feel confident - it is asking us for outside source of our confidence. In my view that is contradiction.
What would happen if we are getting bad feedback at work, or being back stabbed or having deceiving friends? Or if we lose our job and money is tight? Then we still need to be confident that you will  find a job or be confident that you can improve your performance or have a confidence to evaluate some of our relationships and release negative ones from our life and find new positive connections.
So confidence is in my view, believing in yourself and not validating yourself against external influences. t is knowing yourself as well, so knowing where are your weaknesses and strengths so you can recognise if feedback you are getting is genuine and true.
So it is innate and you have to work on it - getting to know yourself. I learnt through interactions with different people - ones that were really good and deceiving ones. I think I learnt a lot from deceiving ones  ;D
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
― Anne Lamott

Offline Grey

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #10 on: Jul 16, 2017, 03:39:23 PM »
Age  ;D
I'm not sure the ratio of confidence to survival skills
The experience of having gotten this far somehow is certainly a huge factor

Offline Musette

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #11 on: Jul 16, 2017, 10:41:43 PM »
^ ;D ;D

This is  a very good question Mussette.
When I read this question for the first time - WHAT makes you feel confident - it is asking us for outside source of our confidence. In my view that is contradiction.
What would happen if we are getting bad feedback at work, or being back stabbed or having deceiving friends? Or if we lose our job and money is tight? Then we still need to be confident that you will  find a job or be confident that you can improve your performance or have a confidence to evaluate some of our relationships and release negative ones from our life and find new positive connections.
So confidence is in my view, believing in yourself and not validating yourself against external influences. t is knowing yourself as well, so knowing where are your weaknesses and strengths so you can recognise if feedback you are getting is genuine and true.
So it is innate and you have to work on it - getting to know yourself. I learnt through interactions with different people - ones that were really good and deceiving ones. I think I learnt a lot from deceiving ones  ;D

Thanks Artist, that's a really interesting answer.
I think a lot of what you've described comes with age and experience (hence Grey's answer, and my own).
I've been around long enough, and am honest enough with myself, to know my strengths and weaknesses and to accept them. To know what I'm good at and what I want out of life and to realise that being confident plays a large part in achieving that.
It is an interesting question, and if I'd been asked 10, 20, 30 years ago, I'm sure I'd have given very different answers.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline scouser

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #12 on: Jul 16, 2017, 11:59:58 PM »

^ agree, but looking back for me, when I was younger, fitter slimmer, working without any responsibilities, i.e.: children etc..and money wasn't tight, I was very confident and self assured, or so I thought.
Like others have said, age, experience and the wisdom that comes with it is invaluable and thinking about now, although I am not financially secure, my confidence is better than it has ever been really! :)
One day I'll laugh about this!😑

Offline cigarettes and matches

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #13 on: Jul 17, 2017, 12:02:45 AM »
Having the confidence to try something new.  It may not work out but you won't know unless you try.
Music isn't my hobby, it's my passion.

Offline Artist

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Re: Confidence
« Reply #14 on: Jul 17, 2017, 09:55:57 AM »
^ True. Getting out of your comfort zone, being confident in your potential.
Also to fall and raise again.
“Expectations are resentments under construction.”
― Anne Lamott