Sex no strings

[lisbeth]

Could you enjoy sex with no emotional connection (I'm not talking one night stand) You meet someone, sleep together, enjoy it and want to continue enjoying, but not het emotionally involved?

[Marty]

No.

[Artist]

It doesn't work for me.

[millicent]

I think it depends on the definition of 'no strings' and 'emotionally involved'.
Is a 'friends with benefits' scenario 'no strings'?

(ETA: I used to be awful at 'casual'. As in I married the first person I had a one night stand with and was with her for 17 years.
Since the divorce I have had sex with people who I have not married. I see that as definite progress.  )

[Chewwy]

I think it depends on the definition of 'no strings' and 'emotionally involved'.
Is a 'friends with benefits' scenario 'no strings'?

(ETA: I used to be awful at 'casual'. As in I married the first person I had a one night stand with and was with her for 17 years.
Since the divorce I have had sex with people who I have not married. I see that as definite progress.  )

[SecretAgent]

Absolutely... we are both adults and if you are honest from the start then that's how it can work out !

[Xof the Elder]

Can't see the point in that.

Having to shower twice in the day and not even for love? NARP.

[pure evil]

I think it depends on the definition of 'no strings' and 'emotionally involved'.

^^^ This!

There are defo people in my life I have sex/play with who I'm not romantically involved with. Tho at some level we are emotionally involved, I mean doesn't this happen in any sort of extended connection? If I wasn't getting to know people or trust them, I doubt I'd continue having a cup of tea with them, let alone more intimate pleasures.

[Smik]

I think you can. But only if both parties are on the same wave length and have the same understanding, of what they are doing.

[millicent]

Tho at some level we are emotionally involved, I mean doesn't this happen in any sort of extended connection? If I wasn't getting to know people or trust them, I doubt I'd continue having a cup of tea with them, let alone more intimate pleasures.

Well, quite.


I wasn't being facetious earlier - I would really be interested to hear people's definition of what 'strings' (vs 'no strings') mean to them.

Do you define it as 'romantic connection' or 'being in love'?
Where do you draw the line?
Is it frequency of contact? Or being able to rely on them for support (even if it's just something like being able to say 'I had a really shitty day today.')?
Or is it having some sort of plan or trajectory for the relationship, like moving in together or pooling resources?
Or something else entirely?

I know it's absolutely possible to have a connection where you have amazing chemistry and sex and both parties value and enjoy what you have without wanting it to be anything 'more'.
But I wouldn't say that there is no 'emotional connection'.

[lisbeth]

Millicent:

Well 'strings' (vs 'no strings') to me mean:

A romantic connection in a sexual way, definitely not being in love. So, I am attracted to the person physically, (otherwise there would be no sex anyway) enjoy their company as a person, but don't want to spend the rest of my life with them.

Definitely not relying on them for support or wanting to move in together or pooling resources etc.

I guess it depends on what you define as an emotional connection...I think most woman would develop some sort of emotional connection and yes the danger is that this might for or either party turn into something more than was originally agreed and then it's time to get the hell out!

[millicent]

Thank you.

I've just been thinking a lot about this kind of thing lately and it's interesting to hear other people's take on it.

I guess it depends on what you define as an emotional connection...I think most woman would develop some sort of emotional connection and yes the danger is that this might for or either party turn into something more than was originally agreed and then it's time to get the hell out!

Hmmm.
I don't think anyone can really know in advance how they'll feel as time passes.

And I dare say it is possible to have some feelings and still not wanting things to change. Not everyone wants to do the escalator thing. Just saying.

[pure evil]

Thank you.

I've just been thinking a lot about this kind of thing lately and it's interesting to hear other people's take on it.

I guess it depends on what you define as an emotional connection...I think most woman would develop some sort of emotional connection and yes the danger is that this might for or either party turn into something more than was originally agreed and then it's time to get the hell out!

Hmmm.
I don't think anyone can really know in advance how they'll feel as time passes.

And I dare say it is possible to have some feelings and still not wanting things to change. Not everyone wants to do the escalator thing. Just saying.

I found the 'get the hell out' part of this kinda brutal. Sometimes I've needed to call it quits when people refuse to listen to my boundaries, or from the reverse perspective if I feel the other person isn't able to be kind.

This morning I was thinking of a conversation with a friend, on exactly this 'romance' topic where we talked about how often the form and what is given are pretty much the same, just minus the 'crazy leap' phase.
I like oxytocin as much as the next person, but I also question some of the prioritising I've done under the influence of hormones.

[scouser]

Depends on th
E reason for doing so.

[sarah_m]

Yes, but how many times would I have sex without falling in love?
Before the 'falling in love' bit- I've done this. Then,
I was in a mess. I doubt I was in love now.
As it went on she wanted to get emotionally untangled from me.
  The answer to the question is I've tried it, I wish it worked but sex works on many different levels.

Sex can be fun, a relief, boring, tedious, hard work and it can work outside being in love or feeling great passion for each other.
I wasn't passionate about her.