Author Topic: use of donor sperm after partnership has ended  (Read 797 times)

Offline bodmin

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use of donor sperm after partnership has ended
« on: Apr 13, 2017, 09:26:40 AM »
I'm not sure this is a very common question but I wonder if any of you know where the law stands on this.

My now ex wife and I conceived two children via iui in two seperate London clinics using donor sperm bought from Denmark a few years ago.  Youngest child is now six and we split two years ago as she was emotinally and physically abusive.

We have four vials of sperm left at one of the clinics and I beleive she is now wanting to use that sperm to concieve with her new partner.

Is there any law on this?

Things are in no way amicable between us and I have threats to kill me from her and numerous emails with insults and threats since the split as I have continued be apart of our children's lives which now doesn't suit her.

Offline Sherpa

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Re: use of donor sperm after partnership has ended
« Reply #1 on: Apr 13, 2017, 01:39:49 PM »
So sorry to hear this bodmin. I'm no legal expert and you would probably need to take advice from someone who is. I wouldn't see that you had any right to stop your ex from using whatever donor she chooses. But that doesn't mean that she has any right to use the sperm that you and she bought. Apart from who actually bought it (and therefore "owns" it) there is the limit on the number of families  at a donor is allowed to contribute to - 10 in the UK. I would assume that her trying to get pregnant with a new partner would count as a new family and therefore wouldn't be allowed if the donor has reached his limit.

I would think it's worth approaching the clinic that's holding the sperm, and the European Sperm Bank, and the European Sperm Bank, to find out what their policies would be in this situation - you won't be the first, I'm sure. Good luck.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: use of donor sperm after partnership has ended
« Reply #2 on: Apr 13, 2017, 09:44:30 PM »
^ way back, like nearly 20 years ago, the 10 families rule actually meant 10 biological mothers. I know this because a lesbian couple who both wanted to use the same donor had to wait and see if the donor's limit had not yet been reached when they were ready for their second child (with the other biological mother). They were lucky and it hadn't. They were not allowed under the rules to reserve sperm for their family for use by the 2nd woman.

This means that bodmin's ex would, biologically speaking, not be starting a new family.

However, since civil partnership and marriage laws have changed since the time I am talking about, it is possible that HEFA rules have changed. I have a suspicion they may not have.

Bodmin, my sympathies on the difficult circumstances and I echo Sherpa's advice. Get thee to a solicitor.

And I hope that things go better for all of you soon, however this turns out. It sounds unpleasant and stressful for all concerned :(