Author Topic: Xof's diary - keep out - private  (Read 824 times)

Offline Xof the Elder

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Xof's diary - keep out - private
« on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:48:57 PM »
Dear Diary

I intend to keep a diary, safe here on Gingerbeer where no one is anymore so it's highly unlikely to be discovered. I will record my dream, my hopes, my fears, and all my most intimate thoughts about myself and other people on Gingerbeer who i'm just meeting now  :D

So, today, I saw a mouse.

I also developed a crush on Hillary Clinton after finding out she is my perfect match as I am, apparently, with up to 88% certainty, just like Bill Clinton. I am happy with this comparison and find it apt. He cries and is overly sentimental, that's me. He's also a incorrigible womanizer (with a z) which is where we differ.

I walked 12k only yesterday with Muffin who is letting me down with her short legs and intolerance to the heat and begs to be carried often.

I wrote today to Laurie Dennett and reviewed her book on Amazon, it's out of print now so all I'm doing is helping the second hand book sellers of Amazon who I heard on good authority steal these books from libraries.

Today I like myself: 8/10 - despite eating a whole pack of waitrose sausages (but nothing else) for dinner.
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #1 on: Apr 09, 2017, 10:06:49 PM »
"Topic: Xof's diary - keep out - private  (Read 15 times)"

 >:(
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #2 on: Apr 11, 2017, 07:59:16 AM »
Dear Diary,

Something is about to happen! Things are moving! My eyes have started to transform the buildings of where I am into the buildings of where I want to be. As I passed some eyesore or other on the way past East Putney it morphed quite perfectly into the fort at Cizor Menor. These transformations have never been scary only comforting; fore knowing. Strange though, as I plan to start my 4th pilgrimage in Hospital de Orbigo. Perhaps I'm getting the heave-ho! That changes things.

My dreams continue to soothe and torment me in equal measures. I miss her. All hers. All their energies good and bad amalgamated into one energetic night apparition! Was it my fault, is it their fault, am I too god for her, was I all along? Does that even make sense? Probably not, but the ego needs some oxygen god knows she's been starved lately.

There's a party tonight - my drinking is the office joke, at least it's an identity of sorts! Dulls the toothache.

That's my stop then.

Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #3 on: Apr 13, 2017, 06:51:07 PM »
Dear Diary!

New trekking poles arrived today and they smell beautiful.

I'm all booked up, holiday granted and heading from Leon>Finisterre via Muxia - How exciting! This time I'll try and stay alone through the walk and develop my maturity levels as they clearly need work.

four day weekend - chance to practise - hiking and growing in maturity.
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #4 on: Apr 14, 2017, 07:36:02 AM »
Dear Diary

Muffin has the trots. This means she sleeps a lot of the day and then wants to play at night. I've been awake since 5.50 as that's when she wanted to go outside and bark, it's a bank holiday. Better than that it's Good Friday, which, when I finally got round to reading the bible, turns out is not good at all but a quite horrible day :( I haven't been to communion since January.

I've been offered a role at FB. I've never worked for a really large company before as I always failed their psyche tests - whatever these companies are usually looking for - it wasn't me! Could I work my way up Facebook, can I be a smaller fish in a massive pond, can I get out Pom-Poms and rah-rah for a brand, slap on the t-shirt, why has that bothered me so much? Just because I didn't invent it doesn't mean I can't support it - it has meant that.

Oh - could this be an opportunity to 'grow in maturity' as Berdache has pointed out?

I do like Sheryl, all Sheryls actually.
« Last Edit: Apr 14, 2017, 08:00:14 AM by Xof the Elder »
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #5 on: Apr 19, 2017, 09:17:54 PM »
Dear Fairy,

What are your real priorities? You can work it out with your brain or you can self sabotage your way to the answers. We all know option 2 is the only one you have access to. Improve immediately.

Today I ate a really beautiful apple. It was striped like a tiger in red and silver.

Google paid for my lunch today at Mustard. I had sausages - I added Mustard. What was the choice really? I am very open to suggestion.

I'm enjoying sausages more and more - ever since that sausage on shaftsbury avenue - German cuisine and Russian cuisine are becoming favourites.

« Last Edit: Apr 20, 2017, 08:16:25 AM by Xof the Elder »
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #6 on: Apr 22, 2017, 10:09:23 PM »
I've realised why I've felt so incredibly depressed over the last 9 months. Why everything has felt so grey, like I'm living shades of life, why I've felt so completely hopeless, lost, listless - without a reason for living, direction-less. This sounds crazy but... I think the reason for all this sadness is that, in actual fact, I'm in love and crazier still, I'm only just realising this!

Not the kind of love anyone here will understand or find acceptable, but I think it is an actual love.

I miss her, I miss her light and warmth, her passion and her unpredictability, the way that nothing is ever bland with her, food and wine tastes better in her company, the rain comes never in a drizzle, but when it comes, comes in a torrent and soaks me to the skin - she's full of extremes, arousing and sensual; she radiates colour into my life and lifts up my soul. Just thinking about her arouses me and awakens a deep longing, a longing to go back. I regretted leaving before I left.

I'm in love with a place. I'm in love with how that place makes me feel, what she offers up to my senses on a daily basis. My depression has lasted almost as long as I've been away from her. London has cast a dark shadow over my day-to-day. It's become more and more difficult to breath, to pull myself out of bed each morning knowing that every day is going to be exactly the same, to trudge past miserable people on the way to a tube that's crowded before it sets off and work 10 hours in a grey building under a grey sky.

Understanding this and resolving to return to her, to my Spain, has immediately lifted the grey cloud that I worried had surely trapped me forever.

#I went someplace - and every day I woke up in that place and I told myself ‘I’m alive’ and I was. In some ways more than I've ever been. You know, a barman once told me that you know when you're alive because you can feel and you know when you're not because you don’t feel anything.#
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #7 on: Apr 22, 2017, 11:07:25 PM »
¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo Nacho.

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #8 on: Apr 23, 2017, 10:17:52 AM »
¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo Nacho.

I'm weak at the knees!  :D
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Azalea

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #9 on: Apr 23, 2017, 10:26:41 PM »
I'm sure loads of people feel like this when they come back from holiday/travels but don't act on it because it's not the done thing, you're supposed to just get on with real life. So good for you if you do go back and at least give it a go. How long were you in Spain and what were you doing? A lot of your happy memories might be caught up with what you were doing and who you were with at the time rather than the place but the only way to find out is to go back. You can do a Shirley Valentine and cook chips & egg for Brits  ;D

I feel the same about London and really need to move out, not sure where to though. Canada or NZ would be nice. I wish I had a 'useful occupation' like nursing or auditing that meant countries would fall over themselves to give me a visa!

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #10 on: Apr 23, 2017, 10:42:10 PM »
Hi Azalea

In total I've lived in Barcelona, on and off, for 5 years, I came back in August 2016 after being there for another 2 years.

I don't have a love affair to assign to Barcelona to be looking through rose tinted glasses, at least not ones I'd want to remember.

Just feel like if you're going to live your life, why not live it in warmth, passion and beauty, not freezing your tits off in an overpriced rat-run.

Don't sit on the fence xoffie  :D
« Last Edit: Apr 23, 2017, 10:43:41 PM by Xof the Elder »
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #11 on: Apr 24, 2017, 12:50:55 AM »

¿Es posible emigrar allí permanentemente?

En esta thread, voy a hablar en el español solamente.

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #12 on: Apr 24, 2017, 07:15:18 AM »
Es posible - pero necesito un trabajo. yo contractado un profesor de español para mejorar mi manera de hablar.

Nada es imposible si lo quieres.

Sueno como marty mcfly.
Quizas, quizas, quizas....

Offline Earl

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #13 on: Apr 24, 2017, 09:25:03 PM »

Nada es imposible si lo quieres.


Que? Nada?
Nye Bevan, 'the NHS will exist for only as long as the people fight for it'...or something like that.

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Xof's diary - keep out - private
« Reply #14 on: Apr 24, 2017, 09:48:33 PM »

Nada es imposible si lo quieres.


Que? Nada?

Si nada. ¿Quieres una copa de gazpacho?
Quizas, quizas, quizas....