Author Topic: Deal Breakers  (Read 706 times)

Offline Xof the Elder

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Deal Breakers
« on: Apr 09, 2017, 08:22:20 PM »
One of my friends recently read my dating profile and was bent double in hysterics at how many provisos and I don't want this,that and the others I'd added. It got me to thinking that perhaps I've gone too far in my deal breaker list! Obviously I don't think so, here are a few horrendous behaviors I've experienced in the last few years.

I've left dates because of photographic misrepresentationn - (fair enough no?)

Chronic lateness - 20 mins late first date, 30 minute late second date - left before she arrived on second date for home to do the laundry and didn't return calls. (She lived 10 minutes away!)

Racist - nudge nudge wink wink ..... barf

Chronic complaining to service people - there was a problem everywhere with everything... im out!

Inability to walk far without whinging and then walking slowly - Can't keep up with me eh? Byeeeeeeee

Don't talk to/anger toward siblings or parents - That's a sign of a whole heap of unresolved issues.

What are your deal breakers?
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Online Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #1 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:25:34 PM »
To be honest, a couple of your dealbreakers would be dealbreakers for me. Not the thing you mention itself, but rather, your having it as a dealbreaker.

Walking slowly? What if someone is unfit or has a disability or simply enjoys a more leasurely pace? I would wonder if the person who can't tolerate a slow walking companion is impatient and intolerant of natural and harmless human differences.

Not getting along with family members? Some people have bad family members, and relieving themselves of that toxicity by having limited contact can be the most healthy thing to do. Someone who does not understand that must've really lucked out in the family department and perhaps lacks empathy to understand the difficulty of some relationships.

Some other dealbreakers of mine:

Negging. A sort of "Play it mean to keep 'em keen' approach. One time I was having some flirty banter with someone, but they kept throwing in jokey insults and put-downs and I noped out of there. Nope.

Being a crazy Republican type

Not being open to a vegan lifestyle / not having animal rights as a primary concern in life

Treating service people badly

Lots more. I want a nice and kind person, be it in a friend, family member, partner, colleague.
« Last Edit: Apr 09, 2017, 09:27:20 PM by Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir »

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #2 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:31:48 PM »
To be honest, a couple of your dealbreakers would be dealbreakers for me. Not the thing you mention itself, but rather, your having it as a dealbreaker.

Walking slowly? What if someone is unfit or has a disability or simply enjoys a more leasurely pace? I would wonder if the person who can't tolerate a slow walking companion is impatient and intolerant of natural and harmless human differences.

Not getting along with family members? Some people have bad family members, and relieving themselves of that toxicity by having limited contact can be the most healthy thing to do. Someone who does not understand that must've really lucked out in the family department and perhaps lacks empathy to understand the difficulty of some relationships.

Some other dealbreakers of mine:

Negging. A sort of "Play it mean to keep 'em keen' approach. One time I was having some flirty banter with someone, but they kept throwing in jokey insults and put-downs and I noped out of there. Nope.

Being a crazy Republican type

Not being open to a vegan lifestyle / not having animal rights as a primary concern in life

Treating service people badly

Lots more. I want a nice and kind person, be it in a friend, family member, partner, colleague.

I'm a hiker! I can't be walking slowly. Obviously if she can't walk and she's the love of my life I wont take her on hikes. Im talking about perfectly fit and healthy whingers!

And by the family thing - Yes, by FOO (and that fact I know what a FOO is means I know what I'm on about and why I'd avoid it), I mean unresolved issues with FOO. Not that she has to be part of the Von Trapps - being too close to the family is even worse.

Looks like we're not getting married then? It's a shame, I'd like to take your last name.

Liked the question though didn't you.... *beams with pride*  :D
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Online Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #3 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:35:44 PM »
Ja, it was a good question. Made me reflect on how I hate most people/things.  :P

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #4 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:37:32 PM »
Ja, it was a good question. Made me reflect on how I hate most people/things.  :P

You didn't mention people who are cruel to babies in your list.

Deliberate omission?
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Online Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #5 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:39:26 PM »
Well, I also hate water chestnuts, but I didn't mention those, did I?

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #6 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:41:06 PM »
Well, I also hate water chestnuts, but I didn't mention those, did I?

I was going to mention that too, but I didn't want to embarrass you further.
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Online Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #7 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:46:54 PM »
I appreciate that. Life is full of enough embarrassment, like that time I did that embarrassing thing.

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #8 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:51:03 PM »
I appreciate that. Life is full of enough embarrassment, like that time I did that embarrassing thing.

I can hear a mouse paddling in some stagnant water. Really. Call for help.
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Online Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #9 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:53:58 PM »
Go help him/her/zyr  >:(

Offline Xof the Elder

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #10 on: Apr 09, 2017, 09:56:58 PM »
Go help him/her/zyr  >:(

It will bite me! I'll get rabies.
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Offline Grey

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #11 on: Apr 09, 2017, 11:36:22 PM »
it won't- I do that all the time
you can scoop it out into a waste basket or bucket and then release it somewhere safe

Offline Trifle

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #12 on: Apr 10, 2017, 09:26:11 AM »
Lack of self awareness and limited sense of humour are deal breakers for me.


Offline Trifle

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #13 on: Apr 10, 2017, 09:32:30 AM »
Ja, it was a good question. Made me reflect on how I hate most people/things.  :P

I'm beginning to think most people are irritated by most people. Every conversation I overhear is two people complaining about an intolerable third party. Or maybe all the third parties are just annoying the other 70%.

Offline Trifle

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Re: Deal Breakers
« Reply #14 on: Apr 10, 2017, 09:40:29 AM »
As for photographic misrepresentation, I don't really go on dates with people I've never seen before but if I did I wouldn't be able to tell from a photo if I was going to find them attractive anyway, so I don't think it would bother me. For me it's the combination of personality and appearances, something you just can't get from a photo. And some people just photograph differently to how they are in real life and they can't do much about that. Unless it was a photo of a different person entirely, that would just be odd.