You know when you develop a deep interest in someone and there are signs to show they may also have an interest in you - or at least notice you and seem interested for some reason or another, but the both of you talk to almost every other person in the building but each other and all your communications are occasional short need-to-have conversations but mostly non-verbal? Yeah, I am in this situation, perhaps once again.
It seems like there may be something going on between a female colleague and I (won't go into too much detail about the incidences that show there may be something going on as the list would go on). Most of it is fun - we are always making eye contact/taking quick glances at each other when in the same room or passing each other in the corridors, somehow find reasons to pass/bump into each other, behave differently as soon as one of us enters the room and mostly from her part, without any direct communication, she has taken good care of me since day 1 when she notices I could do with some help (I am younger and started new at the workplace).
What I don't like about all this and would like to understand better is why we sometimes totally ignore each other? I have read tons online about the whole ignoring the person you like but they are all questions asking why 'men' do this to women and the answers are never adequate. Of course when you have passed someone more than once in a day, saying hi/smiling the first time is enough. But there are days when she does not acknowledge me at all - she sees me walking towards her but right before the moment you would smile and say hi, she looks away or looks straight ahead - it is this look basically saying 'I know you are there but by not looking at you, I want you to know that I no longer care, I am done with whatever is going on.' And then a few days later, the smile and hi is back again and then bam, back to ignoring and the same cycle goes on.
The funny but silly thing is that I sometimes do this too and it is not always because she's doing it to me. I just decide that I am not going to acknowledge her and so one would think I should know why she does it? -.- I think I sometimes do it because I am slightly sick of us having this vibe, this connection (which could of course all be in my head) but we are not moving forward. Even though I am so nervous around her and the thought of us having a long conversation freaks me out, I kind of want her to initiate a more personal conversation to break this thing between us, but she hasn't and so I slightly get mad and ignore her to try to send the message that 'oh nothing is happening between us anyway.' Perhaps she feels the same and that's why she occasionally ignores me? This is so childish but it is happening between two grown adults who are perhaps trying to at the same time suppress those feelings.
What do you think is going on? I know some of you may say I should just go make the move and initiate conversation but what I mostly want to hear from you all at this point is what you think is going on.. I do want to add that I have a feeling that if I do initiate conversation and it goes well, the very next day, we will both still pass each other and totally ignore each other and then acknowledge each other again a day or two later.. we have done this before after having short need-to-have conversations or a quick laugh together over something. So odd!