One of the most challenging things in dealing with the past is having other people be receptive to you if you're sorry or want to apologise. You can't always 'make things right'. One of the most surprising things about getting older is that people seem to give fewer chances, forgive less and be less open to remaining friends than when you're younger. That surprised me. Most of my ex partners pre-30s I'm still on good terms with, after that, some really important relationships who Infelt very close to, closed off to me forever. That unforgiveness hurts. In these cases, how can you deal with it? There's no discourse.
I like the idea of just paying it forward to the world at large, firstly, you've got no bloody choice not to and secondly, I find a magical thing tends to happen when I give out to the world and that is I receive back almost exactly what I put out and often within 24 hours. I need to test that again, synchronicities like that are the best in life