Author Topic: Everyday life skills - RF version  (Read 287 times)

Offline merce

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Everyday life skills - RF version
« on: Jan 04, 2017, 02:48:38 PM »
Inspired by another thread - what life skills have you taught your kids? And how? What's a work in progress? What can we reasonably give them for the mysterious life ahead?
Here, we're good on scrambled eggs, budgeting and doing the laundry. And arguing. Really want to get better at encouraging independence and self-reliance, and with the luxury of  two highly present and involved mums I find this difficult!

Offline Medusa

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #1 on: Jan 04, 2017, 10:52:32 PM »
Hm. Good manners. To treat people with respect, even if you dislike their opinions. To speak out against discrimination. To question everything, including what I say!

A lot of my time & energy has gone on teaching my children social/life skills that wouldn't have been necessary were they neurotypical.  :-\
A focus on looking after their mental health as well as physical. Stuff to do with sex/consent/boundaries.

Oh, and a fair bit of 'how to make friends with hamsters', the importance of having a pond if at all possible because of the frogs and the newts and the dragonflies. How to look after plants and grow things. How to alphabetize a bookshelf or ten.

I suppose I might teach them to iron, sew on buttons and change plugs & fuses before I forget. And cook (in so far as I know how).
« Last Edit: Jan 04, 2017, 10:54:43 PM by Medusa »
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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #2 on: Jan 04, 2017, 11:01:29 PM »
Foster kids:
How to talk about their dead parent openly.
How to ice skate.
How to swim.
How to bathe.
How to brush their teeth.
How to use cutlery.
How to sit at a table.
How to drink from a glass/cup.
How to splash in a puddle.
How to spell their name.
How to say sorry.

Actually, many of these for nieces and nephews too...


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Offline Grey

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #3 on: Jan 05, 2017, 12:20:33 PM »
Boys-teach them about respect
about condoms-preferably send them to a clinic that does youth classes
shopping cooking button sewing dishes laundry
and how to bring you a cup of tea

and then you can pretty much send them out into the world

Offline merce

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #4 on: Jan 05, 2017, 02:22:55 PM »
These are all brilliant. Sometimes it's hard to know what's going in. I have great appreciation for driving as a moment for serious discussion.

Offline Musette

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #5 on: Jan 06, 2017, 12:30:56 AM »
^ yes, driving is a very good way of having that sort of conversation.
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a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #6 on: Jan 06, 2017, 06:50:18 PM »
^ also washing up.

I am feeling a bit inadequate now.

I have taught my kids to say I love you and to make lasagna.

Offline Amphelise

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #7 on: Jan 06, 2017, 07:32:39 PM »
I started to answer this the other day but could only think about all the bad housekeeping habits that a twin-set of ADHD mum and stepmum have given him. ::)

But for all that... we've taught him how to be kind, how to say 'I love you', how to pay compliments and praise peoples' efforts, how to reassure himself when he is not certain he'll enjoy a new experience, how to comfort people when they are sad or sick, how to be accepting of people and situations that aren't perfect. That's not so bad, I guess.

We're working on the 'how to keep a room tidy' thing... together.
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Offline animalnitrate

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #8 on: Jan 06, 2017, 10:13:50 PM »
Two things I've been really proud to see come good recently are:
- Confidence in his own physical abilities, which has often been lacking; and
- Asking for his blue inhaler when he needs it. This has been such a fucking headache because he KNOWS but has never really asked for it, and he often wheezes in an atypical or discreet sort of fashion so it's very easy for it to go unnoticed if I'm not around. And then a month or so ago, he did! At school! Where he's never even used it at the suggestion of staff before! Where he's only been for one term! Hurrah.

Consent - we're getting there, but it doesnt feel entirely finished. I actually think that breastfeeding for an absurd (;)) length of time helped with this one - SO much practical stuff about bodies and boundaries in negotiating that stuff.

Good manners. Bits of this which we've got sussed so far include: please and thank you; not saying 'yuck' to food we don't want (and always at least trying it); being outwardly grateful for presents even if you don't like them; not saying things which will hurt someone's feelings; answering politely when someone is talking to you, even if you're feeling shy. Still a lot of work to be done on not interrupting.

Cooking - J is 4 and this learning is in parts at the moment: how to use a very sharp knife, how to put things in hot pans and stir them without burning yourself on the pan or the gas, how to switch the cooker on and off, how to weigh things etc.

Washing up. Putting a load of washing on.

Budgeting - how to choose what to buy, hard choices about whether we buy X or Y because we can't/won't afford both (that sounds like poverty drama, whereas in fact what I mean is eg. he's currently foregoing a month of magazines because we bought Super Mario for my iPad instead).

I think he's effortlessly (on my part, at least) absorbed a lot of understanding about using public transport in London and elsewhere, which is undoubtedly useful.

Saying sorry. Losing graciously. Coping with disappointments. The latter two with variable success at present.

Offline Grey

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #9 on: Jan 07, 2017, 01:08:22 PM »
^ also washing up.

I am feeling a bit inadequate now.

I have taught my kids to say I love you and to make lasagna.

Dear LfL
I think you have distilled life's philosophy down to perfection here  :D  :D

Offline Kallie

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #10 on: Jan 30, 2017, 08:08:08 AM »
I'd like a bit more self sufficency really, especially from the older one. If I do something for our 4 year old and then the 8 year old asks for the same I feel like I have to do it for fairness but in reality that means I end up doing lots of things for him that I feel he should be doing for himself now.

Offline Musette

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Re: Everyday life skills - RF version
« Reply #11 on: Feb 01, 2017, 12:52:41 AM »
^ can you try appealing to the older one's sense of being the older sibling?
Kids, especially at that sort of age, quite often respond well to being told they are behaving older than they are. Praise them for being 'grown up' and not being childish. Lay it on with a trowel if you need to. After all, every 8-year-old longs to be 9... ;)
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D