Author Topic: what happened to this lovely supportive board  (Read 1071 times)

Offline angel_on_top

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #15 on: Feb 06, 2017, 09:28:11 PM »
I never posted a great deal on the board but I did meet a few lovely people through it (nic and more). I don't live in London anymore but I'm a sole parent to two boys aged 3 and 5.  I'd definitely love to chat about parenting boys and feminism. Challenging my 5 year old every day he returns from school about girls' toys and boys' toys is driving me insane and I know it will only get worse  :-\

Offline Sherpa

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #16 on: Feb 08, 2017, 02:27:24 PM »
So happy that this board is coming back to life!

To be honest it was always somewhat dominated by people thinking about/trying to get pregnant, and I guess that they are now more likely to go elsewhere - facebook, or fertility friends, mumsnet, whatever. It is quite amazing how the issues that dominate your life at that stage are quite different, and i guess more specific to being LGTBQ (finding a donor, being the bio mum or not) whereas the issues that you deal with with kids, at least post-baby, are more common to any other parent. Which doesn't mean that it's not good to be able to discuss them with like-minded people.

As well as the above, I guess I was put off posting as my partner is somewhat negative about it, not seeing the point of online chat with people you don't know IRL. This doesn't have to stop me but is an issue with discussing our shared life.

Anyway, it's great to hear from people. Angel_on_top so great to hear that you got past your losses and have your family. Primate, I have been thinking of you.  We now have two kids, DD aged 6 and DS aged nearly 2 (after a LOT of difficulties).

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #17 on: Feb 08, 2017, 06:38:20 PM »
Sherpa :D

Welcome back! I know it's sometimes tricky to discuss stuff without trampling on our kids' privacy, but it is possible. And by maintaining contact here, it was possible for me to reach out to semi-anonymous/unknown people in a time of absolute parenting-a-teenager crisis when I had totally screwed up. This helped me more than I could imagine and I am still glad I had that conversation with a caring semi-stranger rather than washing that particular set of dirty laundry in front of family or friends who would remember it forever. Some things you prefer people you know not to know about :(

Offline nic

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #18 on: Feb 11, 2017, 10:08:11 AM »
AOT yes it was lovely meying you  hope you are happy where you are now
i wouldnt worry too much when the little munch was 5 evry thing was ordered into boy world and girl world  it used to drive me mad - now its only me who wears pink and she is just as keen to see sing as she is too see the new batman movie .....

yesterday morning when the three of us had breakfast (i have my goddaughter living with me at the moment) the little munch announced that everything is for boys and girls bar periods   (she is seven now)

Offline Primate

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #19 on: Feb 19, 2017, 02:30:23 PM »
Lust for Life, thank you! The new normal was pretty hard won but we're all ok. The kids are brilliant and I have learnt to feel comfortable on my own, which was the hardest thing. I'm better (more sober, duller) for it, I think.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #20 on: Feb 19, 2017, 09:36:12 PM »
That sounds like a huge achievement, Primate, well done  :-*

Nice that you're back here, too.

Offline animalnitrate

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #21 on: Feb 20, 2017, 08:16:23 PM »
Lust for Life, thank you! The new normal was pretty hard won but we're all ok. The kids are brilliant and I have learnt to feel comfortable on my own, which was the hardest thing. I'm better (more sober, duller) for it, I think.

I want to say something along the lines of 'well done', only way more emphatic than that, only I'm too English and it would come out sounding ridiculously sarky if I could even find the words. But that's massive.

To be honest it was always somewhat dominated by people thinking about/trying to get pregnant, and I guess that they are now more likely to go elsewhere - facebook, or fertility friends, mumsnet, whatever. It is quite amazing how the issues that dominate your life at that stage are quite different, and i guess more specific to being LGTBQ (finding a donor, being the bio mum or not) whereas the issues that you deal with with kids, at least post-baby, are more common to any other parent. Which doesn't mean that it's not good to be able to discuss them with like-minded people.

I think that's true. I also think that - though my TTCing self would have grumbled at me for saying it - there was such a lot more time to spend online at that stage. Time and headspace.

Offline merce

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #22 on: Feb 25, 2017, 09:17:54 PM »
You're in our hearts, Primate.
Thinking about time online- I agree, so much less explicit need to discuss kid stuff with other parents. But something an older lesbian parent in our area said to me years ago has stuck - there is a wall between us and the other school parents. It's incredibly normative despite being in an area that had a long history of lesbian mums, and we don't fit into the girls' night out brigade.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: what happened to this lovely supportive board
« Reply #23 on: Feb 26, 2017, 07:47:44 AM »
I did fit in with the playground mums when my kids were little, but perhaps that's because I was in such a dysfunctional relationship which ended when the eldest was in reception. The weirdy controlling partner was something they could relate to....

Now I have a great relationship and still have many straight female friends, but it's sometimes tricky to work out when it's appropriate for us both to go to something. Basically, we want to both go, far more often than any male partners do.