I was thinking the other day that it's a shame I don't know anyone who feels like me, it would have been fun to have someone to compare with... Then I remembered Gingerbeer!
I am bi, and have been fairly girly all my life. I'm now in my mid-thirties, and the older I get, the more comfortable I get with allowing my masculine sides to show. I used to avoid any body language/looks that were too "manly", since I, like all women, I assume, had been thought they were unattractive.
Lately I am embracing my more masculine sides, though. I have cut my hair short. I allow myself to stand and walk in more "butch" ways (not necessarily crossing my legs when sitting down, or just stand with my hands in my pockets and my legs apart, for example! These are probably silly things, but I have been aware of them all my life and worked hard on a "female" body language, so it is a big thing to me!). I tried a drag king makeover and LOVED it, and would now love to try packing or letting my facial hair grow (as a dark-haired woman I think I could work up a respectable moustache if I just stopped plucking it!).
I guess I just wanted to hear if anyone else feels like this... I try to invite my friends along to the FMAS at the RVT, or Drag King contests, but none of them are really into it!
Also, looking in the mirror these days, since I stopped wearing make up, dresses and long hair, I sometimes wish I didn't have to do this change. I just looked... prettier
in make up and dresses. I didn't really look like myself - I feel a lot more like myself these days - but I looked better
. Hm. If that makes sense.
Anyway, if anyone feels similar, I'd love to discuss!