Author Topic: Mothers  (Read 1968 times)

dukovearl

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #45 on: Jun 02, 2016, 09:23:48 PM »
Ha, the beauty of never going into her house is that I won't be any the wiser if it does. That's the sort of thing which used to upset me.

Offline nismat

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #46 on: Jun 02, 2016, 10:07:22 PM »
Unsurprisingly!

Sounds like your structures for interacting with her are very well thought out.

Offline Earl

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #47 on: Jun 02, 2016, 10:57:25 PM »
Well, for a start, I would remove the word maybe.

If you want to know why, it's because only an asshole would say what you did the other day.

You left me feeling like I am not ok and I should not be the way I am. Luckily this feeling did not last for long. My post was not dramatic. I cannot stand cruelty to animals and this goes on all day, every day and it gets to me so much that I can barely stand it. I can never feel totally relaxed in my life again because the things that go on in this world are never far from my mind even though I try everything I can to forget about it.

So yes, sometimes I get fed up with the human race and I may choose to express that here and I do not deserve for you to reply to my posts telling me that I am very dramatic and that it is only ok to be that way if I am a young person. I don't reply to your posts with personal attacks so I will kindly ask that you don't do it to my posts in future. I have seen far more dramatic posts on gb than the one I made and I did not see you pipe in and tell them their words are only ok if they are young. Did you even stop to think what the result would be if I was not young? Obviously not.

As you are a mother, I can only sincerely hope that you don't casually throw comments like that at your children. It's not the first time you have made some silly and immature comment directed at me and for someone who says that it's only ok for young people to be dramatic or to speak the way I do, then I would assume a more mature person such as yourself would know better than to throw negative and personal comments at people.

You are not new to gb. Do you really think I need your negativity. Does anyone need it?

Ok. I'm not aware of ever having directly commented on a post of yours, but if you say I did, then I did. I'm treading carefully here, but....welcoming the end of the world and the people in it, is pretty negative and dramatic. However, I hope in future I remember your name and either not direct a post to you, nor about you again. That said, neither I nor anybody else is responsible for your mood/health.

But you're right about one thing. I can forget there are real people reading these posts and I am sometimes overly flippant. I suppose that's the nature of communicating anonymously with people you don't know.
Nye Bevan, 'the NHS will exist for only as long as the people fight for it'...or something like that.

Offline Marty

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #48 on: Jun 02, 2016, 11:30:00 PM »
Ok, well to refresh your memory, you said this:

"You're very dramatic, aren't you. Hopefully, it's because you're young, but the reference to Tommy Cooper says differently."

You knew I had made a reference to Tommy Cooper. Therefore you knew I was not young but you still chose to make those comments. How was it supposed to leave me feeling, that I am young for my age or maybe you just didn't think.

It was about two days ago yet you can't remember having addressed me directly?

If welcoming the end of the world means an end to the suffering of millions of animals every single day in the most horrific ways possible, then sorry but i'm up for that and if you find that dramatic, then I suggest that you just open your mind a bit instead of accusing others of being young for their age just because they hope for an end to the suffering.

Incidentally, I know I am young for my age and as a deceased aunt once told me. There is nothing wrong with that.

Also, I am in a fine mood thank you but if I said nothing, you would think it's ok to make these kinds of comments in the future so I am politely but firmly saying that it's not ok.
« Last Edit: Jun 02, 2016, 11:33:15 PM by Marty »

Saga N

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #49 on: Jun 04, 2016, 09:57:09 AM »
Oh Marty. Earl is our resident sniper. What does it matter what she thinks? And you wishing Armageddon on the planet was exactly the same as me saying the planet is full of bastsrds and parasites, yet you took umbrage at that for some reason. 

Dukey, I'm glad you're taking measures to protect yourself from your mother. I think we'd all be happier if we massively lowered our expectations.

dukovearl

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #50 on: Jun 04, 2016, 11:01:26 AM »
I agree, and yet, as a parent I don't have low expectations of myself. My adult offspring are some of the most important people in my life and always will be. Supporting them and having good relationships with them matters and it will probably always hurt that my mother doesn't feel the same.

oldbutnew

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #51 on: Jun 04, 2016, 11:30:27 AM »
My mother has been very nice to me recently.   I hope it continues.  I actually now enjoy having contact with her.

What I do not understand is why the sudden change?  A leopard does not usually change their spots.  Maybe someone at the home spoke to her about her attitude.
« Last Edit: Jun 04, 2016, 11:39:48 AM by oldbutnew »

Offline Marty

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #52 on: Jun 04, 2016, 11:35:35 AM »
Oh Marty. Earl is our resident sniper. What does it matter what she thinks? And you wishing Armageddon on the planet was exactly the same as me saying the planet is full of bastsrds and parasites, yet you took umbrage at that for some reason. 

Dukey, I'm glad you're taking measures to protect yourself from your mother. I think we'd all be happier if we massively lowered our expectations.

Of course it doesn't matter what Earl thinks about me... I couldn't give two hoots to be honest but as I said, it wasn't the first time and if I said nothing, she would think it's ok to make comments again so a stand had to be made.

And yes, it's similar to what you said BUT... the reason I took umbrage is because bastard is a swear word and I didn't agree with calling everyone that.  :)

I know I said swear words about a certain country but you said we were all parasites too so that was more of a personal attack and that is why I said something. It may also be because some people in my family (cousins) think that it's ok to call their children bastards and worse.
« Last Edit: Jun 04, 2016, 05:28:22 PM by Marty »

Offline Shortcut

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #53 on: Jun 04, 2016, 11:47:15 AM »
I am in the same position as you, Duke of Earl, though my mum is now dead. There are many ways in which I am different from my mum and this is just one of them, but that's not to say that I haven't felt hurt by it. I have very good relationships with my (adult) children, but I realise that I only began to learn how to love when I became an adult and met people who were able to do it naturally. That opened my eyes, I can tell you. I do wish I'd had a different experience, but I learned such a lot from the one I had, and who's to say if I'd have been better off in different circumstances?  It's all such a minefield, I suppose I feel grateful that I survived and was able to pass on something more positive to my (showing-off alert) brilliant children.

Offline Musette

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #54 on: Jun 04, 2016, 01:36:15 PM »
I agree, and yet, as a parent I don't have low expectations of myself. My adult offspring are some of the most important people in my life and always will be. Supporting them and having good relationships with them matters and it will probably always hurt that my mother doesn't feel the same.

This is it, dukey. This is what I don't understand about the dysfunctional mothers. My (not yet adult) children are the most important people in my life. It flummoxes me when my own mum doesn't act like that towards me or them. But then she certainly believes that she wasn't among the most important people in her own mother's life, so perhaps she just doesn't know how to do that :-\
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Earl

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #55 on: Jun 04, 2016, 05:27:38 PM »
Oh Marty. Earl is our resident sniper.

What a ridiculous thing to say. You and your new found friend should get on famously.
Nye Bevan, 'the NHS will exist for only as long as the people fight for it'...or something like that.

Saga N

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #56 on: Jun 04, 2016, 06:05:49 PM »
Oh Marty. Earl is our resident sniper.

What a ridiculous thing to say. You and your new found friend should get on famously.

I rest my case.  :D