Author Topic: Mothers  (Read 1967 times)

oldbutnew

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2016, 07:00:13 PM »
my view is that if you are in a steady serious relationship it makes sense to marry

Saga N

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2016, 07:11:04 PM »
Yes. You out-nasty me, which is nice.  :)

oldbutnew

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #17 on: May 21, 2016, 07:28:05 PM »
Yes. You out-nasty me, which is nice.  :)

 ???

Offline Musette

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #18 on: May 21, 2016, 07:51:26 PM »
my view is that if you are in a steady serious relationship it makes sense to marry

Why does it?
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline nismat

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #19 on: May 21, 2016, 08:13:31 PM »
Yes. You out-nasty me, which is nice.  :)

 ???

I don't think that was to you OBN

Saga N

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2016, 08:42:33 PM »
Sorry, no. It was to Earl.

OBN, those views are frankly old fashioned and very limited.

oldbutnew

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #21 on: May 21, 2016, 08:55:33 PM »
I must be old fashioned then because if someone wants to make a life with me, I would prefer to be married to them.

Saga N

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #22 on: May 21, 2016, 09:10:19 PM »
I must be old fashioned then because if someone wants to make a life with me, I would prefer to be married to them.

It's completely hypothetical for you, though, so you can afford to be picky.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2016, 09:52:27 PM »
I am married, obn, and have several good friends who live together without being married. You asked what the advantages and disadvantages were:

Not everyone's reasons are exactly the same but in general the reasons I hear a lot are...

In favour of not getting married:
-it's nobody's business but our own, and certainly not the government's.
-weddings are ridiculously expensive and we'd rather spend our money on useful stuff like food, clothes, housing...
-it's only a piece of paper and we don't need that to prove we love each other
-it's patriarchal and old fashioned and not relevant to modern life.

In favour of getting married:
-we want the security of knowing our pensions, parenting rights and responsibilities, inheritance etc are sorted out, and a marriage certificate is a one-stop shop for all of this.
-always wanted a big do
-didn't want to upset/disappoint my/our parents (it's the proper thing to do)
-religious/moral reasons (don't want to 'live in sin')




But my own reasons don't quite fit on this list, to be honest. I was considering moving abroad with my kids and new partner and we wanted to make a clear statement to my family that this was not on a whim.

oldbutnew

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #24 on: May 21, 2016, 09:59:13 PM »
ok weddings do not have to be expensive.  You can go to the registry office with a couple of witnesses.   That is what my parents did because they couldn't afford anything else.

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #25 on: May 21, 2016, 10:09:25 PM »
I know, I didn't mean that weddings are expensive, I just meant that a lot of people give that as one of their reasons for not getting married. Not all those reasons come from the same people, either.

The Saintly Genius, again

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2016, 10:12:58 PM »
Another reason against the conventional variety is if we preferred to extend the rights of gayers in this country to gayers with the misfortune to be born in some sh1t hole without any rights at all.

Slantrhyme

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #27 on: May 22, 2016, 11:12:11 AM »
 And marriages are expensive and complicated things to get out of if it all goes tits up.
 I got married because I thought/was told it was the right thing to do, and look where it got me…
 How much rape abuse and violence is dished out under the cover of marriage?
 If things don't go to plan it's either a solicitors paradise or a horrible trap, or in some cases it can cost a woman her life, and looking at the divorce statistics, things go wrong more often than not.   

dukovearl

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #28 on: May 22, 2016, 06:00:26 PM »
Getting back to mothers, mine complained about me to an ex, on a bus. Is it asking too much that one's mother not do that?

Offline Marty

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Re: Mothers
« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2016, 06:05:49 PM »
It's a yes from me.