Author Topic: What makes someone 'wife material'?  (Read 1639 times)

Offline plaiting fog

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2016, 04:29:15 PM »
I don't think it's wise to invest any permanence in marriage but perhaps that's because I feel old and cynical....

If I met someone I felt could be a life partner, I think I'd want us to keep our separate properties and finances. I'd like to think we'd love each other to the point of pining, but then I'd also want to continue to spend a fair amount of time alone.

I imagine I'm not really wife material... :-\ :)

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2016, 04:48:47 PM »
Well, yeah, if you don't invest in a marriage it's unlikely to work ;D

Offline plaiting fog

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2016, 04:59:01 PM »
^ You're right;  "permanence in a relationship" would have been closer to what I meant. Some people have married to escape, only to feel even more trapped in their marriages. But perhaps I'm digressing... :)

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2016, 06:21:22 PM »
Ive never felt so completely baffled by the way society pushes this relationship business. I've got to the point where I look at people in long term relationships and feel claustrophobic.

That's not to say I don't yearn for intimacy. I do. But now I have that on terms I feel comfortable with.

Offline Grey

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2016, 06:59:40 PM »
I did a relationship where we had fundamental similarities in that we had separate domiciles and alone time withjust occasional overlap of friends
it was lovely

someone on here-I can't remember who posted that she'd decided to have a bath in the middle of the night and how wonderful to be single so she could do that
and it struck me even if you're in a relationship living with someone you should be able to do something like that-why not?
it's all complicated isn't it

Offline Musette

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2016, 08:58:35 PM »
I'd say there's probably no reason why you shouldn't in principle, but that the noise of running a bath etc might disturb the other person.

I think as I get older and more experienced I have a better idea if what I don't want. And I really don't want co-dependence. I need to feel independent and self-sufficient whilst also, ideally, having time to spend with someone close (who also values their independence and so on). To commit to a lifetime together is, I think, unrealistic for a lot of people, however much we'd like to think we want it and can achieve it.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline MzB

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #21 on: May 21, 2016, 12:39:44 AM »
. To commit to a lifetime together is, I think, unrealistic for a lot of people

But when you are 55, with a short-ish life expectancy, a lifetime doesn't seem so long at all.

Which is even more complicated.

Offline Grey

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #22 on: May 21, 2016, 01:28:27 PM »
^yes it is
and it can be quite extraordinary




I'd say there's probably no reason why you shouldn't in principle, but that the noise of running a bath etc might disturb the other person.

I think as I get older and more experienced I have a better idea if what I don't want. And I really don't want co-dependence. I need to feel independent and self-sufficient whilst also, ideally, having time to spend with someone close (who also values their independence and so on). To commit to a lifetime together is, I think, unrealistic for a lot of people, however much we'd like to think we want it and can achieve it.

I knew a couple where one of them would get up for a bowl of cereal in the middle of the night and the partner upstairs in bed would complain she could hear the crunching and chewing from the kitchen-as you can imagine it didn't end well

getting older-----lot to be said for it!  ;D

Offline Musette

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2016, 06:27:10 PM »
. To commit to a lifetime together is, I think, unrealistic for a lot of people

But when you are 55, with a short-ish life expectancy, a lifetime doesn't seem so long at all.

Which is even more complicated.

That's a good point. I suppose I was thinking of younger people looking at possibly 60 years together.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Offline Dizz

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #24 on: Aug 21, 2016, 03:00:52 PM »
^yes it is
and it can be quite extraordinary

I'd say there's probably no reason why you shouldn't in principle, but that the noise of running a bath etc might disturb the other person.

I think as I get older and more experienced I have a better idea if what I don't want. And I really don't want co-dependence. I need to feel independent and self-sufficient whilst also, ideally, having time to spend with someone close (who also values their independence and so on). To commit to a lifetime together is, I think, unrealistic for a lot of people, however much we'd like to think we want it and can achieve it.

I knew a couple where one of them would get up for a bowl of cereal in the middle of the night and the partner upstairs in bed would complain she could hear the crunching and chewing from the kitchen-as you can imagine it didn't end well

getting older-----lot to be said for it!  ;D

I really laughed at that. Jesus, bionic ears or what!?

Yeah, I'm with the remaining independent bandwagon. But it's easier said than done.
 I've experienced women who were like. "Yeah, me too.. I like my space too blah blah blah " and after a while  they questioned my independence. Moaned about it, in fact! ( one was particularly sarcastic...." oh your actually in around tonight/ today " type of comments.. Blah blah..
 I've found that some, not all women, say one thing, but mean something completely different.
 
Having said that, I wouldn't wish myself on anyone full time anyway.  ;D
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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #25 on: Aug 21, 2016, 04:17:54 PM »
Shared interests and values, good sense of humour, compatible sex, honesty, loyalty and sincerity, married or not. I think marriage can be claustrophobic and frustrating if your finances are tied up together, prefer to be independent but miss comfortable companionship.

Offline Grey

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #26 on: Aug 21, 2016, 08:49:43 PM »
If you're going to do independent living arrangement I've found it works better if there's actual distance
more fun planning and all the romance of the traveling

and if it doesn't work out you don't have to run into them at the Saturday farmer's market  ;D

Offline scouser

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #27 on: Aug 24, 2016, 08:59:12 AM »
1, Great intellectual chemistry.
2, Amazing sexual chemistry.
3, Compatability in humour, fun.
4, Patience, tolerance, (she'll need it with me! ::))
5, Likes, children, enjoys their company.
6, Loves, or likes ironing.
7, Availability!
 :)
One day I'll laugh about this!😑

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #28 on: Aug 24, 2016, 10:44:18 AM »
Why does she have to like ironing?

Offline Grey

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #29 on: Aug 24, 2016, 12:41:13 PM »
I like ironing  :D
I wouldn't be a wife though