Author Topic: What makes someone 'wife material'?  (Read 5055 times)

Offline Jaxx37

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What makes someone 'wife material'?
« on: May 03, 2016, 12:23:15 AM »
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and was wondering is one person's 'wife material' another person's 'never in a million years'? I mean there are likely things which we all look for in a life partner - good sense of humour, loving nature etc. but what would set a woman apart and make her your definition of 'wife material'? is it just something you know when you meet her or is there more to it than that?

Sorry if this thread is in the wrong place, is a repetition of an old topic (I did a search but couldn't find anything, hopefully I haven't missed anything) or just isn't interesting as a topic. I've just been thinking about it a lot recently so just thought I'd ask what others think.

Thank you  :)
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

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Offline Xpress

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2016, 01:27:57 AM »
My own experience is...... Wife material is from the first moment I saw her i knew.  Seeing her woke up every sensation in my body, her touch sent shocks and reduced me to tears of utter joy.  She was the only one I would ever consider as a wife. Alas it never happened as it was never reciprocated. 

Offline Jaxx37

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2016, 07:48:16 PM »
I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out :(

Falling for someone who is unattainable is heart breaking, hope you're ok now.

I had wondered if people had a list of attributes in their minds or whether it was a 'yes, she's the one' in an instant of meeting kind of thing. Perhaps it's different for each of us.
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The one thing that does not abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Offline MzB

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2016, 09:09:28 PM »
what would set a woman apart and make her your definition of 'wife material'? is it just something you know when you meet her or is there more to it than that?

I think perhaps 'wife material' is only relevant when we are looking for a wife!

I have been consciously looking for a wife for about eight years. I picked the wrong person at first (replete with 'wifely qualities' but didn't love me!) I hope I am picking the right person in my current relationship. I would say she is 'wife material' - but perhaps the main factor is that I am ready to be a wife. Beyond that, we share a lot of the same values and want similar things in life. And we are up for similar kinds of adventure - in love, companionship and sex. I'm not sure that we could have known that on first meeting. But we did know that we were both in the market for a serious relationship.

Offline outoforder

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2016, 10:17:12 PM »
I really don't want a wife.

I'd like a companion. But some fun first if I'm putting it out there to the universe.  ;D

Suitable 'material' is probably going to be different for every person/couple. I would want great communication, we could talk about anything in our heads, laughter, lust and love (I was going for a third L).

lil_moomin

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2016, 03:34:37 PM »
I'd say what evoke feelings like that towards a parter for me, if it happened, would be stuff like: kindness, personality, someone who actually listens/hears what people say, doesn't judge other people etc etc

Slantrhyme

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2016, 05:48:32 PM »
 I think I rate intelligence and empathy above anything else. I couldn't live with somebody who is closed minded. Communication is key and if we can't work things out and she can't hold her own then it's not going to end well.
Also she'd have to be sexually uninhibited. I want really great sex and lots of it.   

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2016, 08:29:21 PM »
Ooo's wish list sounds good to me, but even then I think one person's ideal partner is someone else's no-no - even if they fit that list. Attraction's a very personal thing, as is love.

Also what MzB said. You have to both be wanting to get married :D
« Last Edit: May 16, 2016, 08:31:04 PM by Lust for Life »

Saga N

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2016, 12:26:56 AM »
Haha.
Hum.

Wife is just a label, and one that can be taken off with ease. The seriousness of the term is off-putting, and in the great scheme of things, pretty meaningless.

I'm opting for lots of no strings sex and romantic friendships. Seems more my cup of tea.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2016, 12:28:33 AM by Saga N »

Offline Jaxx37

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2016, 07:09:30 PM »
It's interesting to hear (read) everyone's views on this, I always said I'd never get married though I have always longed for someone special to share my life with. I guess I never thought it would be possible to get married (you know since when I was growing up it just wasn't possible). It's a wonderfully terrifying thought  ;D

I think a lot of what makes a 'wife' (or a life partner since the relationship is more important than the label here) is the connection, not simply a sexual connection (though by God that's important! Great sex is a necessity of any intimate romantic relationship in my opinion) but the emotional connection where you find yourself asking about her day and you're genuinely interested in her answer rather than asking out of politeness or obligation and you know she's genuinely interested in yours too, the little things you do for one another and those subtle little in-jokes and rituals that make you wake up each morning and think 'wow, how lucky am I to have her in my life'. Trust is essential, honesty, compatible sense of humour. I think the list is endless but we just know when we know... 
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

The one thing that does not abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Saga N

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2016, 10:45:37 PM »
^ It's relatively easy to have all that.

What makes someone wife material is their preparedness to put a ring on and commit to beyond the honeymoon period.

That's way rarer.

Offline Xpress

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2016, 10:53:14 PM »
Jaxx37 please may I say how wonderful eloquent you are. I would have said it exactly like you if I'd had the wit and and wisdom

Slantrhyme

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2016, 11:55:23 PM »
 I don't think you can ever know if a relationship is going to last for ever, and I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect that it will. You can feel very strongly that this is a person who you want to be with for the rest of your life, but you never know where the end of the road is, who is going to find it and how.
 If we freed ourselves from all these fairytale expectations and took some of the pressure off ourselves to have the perfect marriage/relationship, then I think we'd be able to enjoy each other more, and whatever happens will happen.   

lil_moomin

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2016, 11:24:42 AM »
Yeah, I totally agree with that. You can't try to predict the future!

Offline MzB

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Re: What makes someone 'wife material'?
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2016, 02:43:25 PM »
I suppose the basic question is, how do you make a lasting commitment to someone and what does that mean? What if and when people's feelings, needs, dreams or circumstances change?