Author Topic: Soft butch etc  (Read 5045 times)

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #15 on: Feb 16, 2016, 07:29:18 PM »
Ah it is
and then again
it ain't
but yeah-just be
charming is a keeper
I like chivalrous too

and what would you transplant your gourd with?

Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #16 on: Feb 16, 2016, 07:34:52 PM »
I googled gourd....it's a fruit? I'm probably a potato head. I'd go for, I dunno, a fig?


Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #17 on: Feb 16, 2016, 07:38:24 PM »
Which reminds me, I'm re-reading Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake trilogy again. Nearing the end of The Year of the Flood. It is as good and quite realistic in its bizzareness as I remember.

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #18 on: Feb 16, 2016, 08:38:38 PM »
I googled gourd....it's a fruit? I'm probably a potato head. I'd go for, I dunno, a fig?

Then we could call you Figgy  :D
because you're such a pudding  ;)

gourd is kind of pumpkin-y

Well-if you're going to read Margaret
I just read her last one
a lot of sex in it
freaky kind

Offline Jaxx37

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #19 on: Feb 22, 2016, 05:48:48 PM »
I find the whole identity thing very confusing, I've spent my whole life (as we all do) trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I am, I thought I'd finally done that by admitting to myself and others that I'm a lesbian and not bisexual as I convinced myself I was for years in an effort to somehow 'fit in' more with my straight friends. Now though it seems that lesbian identity is so much more complex than I realised. Does everyone fit on the 'butch/femme' spectrum or are there other identities I haven't even come across? One thing I do know is that while I have very masculine traits and am much more comfortable with those traits than I am my feminine traits, I also enjoy the parts of me that make me a woman. Is being butch/soft butch/tomboy or any other such identity to do with the way I behave, my thought process, the way I present or the way others see me?

Sorry, too many questions from a relative newbie right? I'm comfortable with who I am and what I am, I just wonder if I need a label other than lesbian in order to identify. Thank you for taking the time to read and answer and thank you for the advice of 'just be' - it seems like very good advice, it's very much appreciated.
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

The one thing that does not abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Offline MzB

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #20 on: Feb 22, 2016, 06:41:13 PM »
Loads of threads and posts about this type of thing here in the Identity Matters section, Jaxx.

But basically, you don't have to do or be anything. Just who you are.


Offline nismat

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #21 on: Feb 22, 2016, 07:57:45 PM »
Exactly.

Probably the labels that you might identify with more wouldn't necessarily be the same as others might use for you, but only you know how you feel.

Use a label if you want to, but personally I just find that too constraining. We are all multi-faceted, and different traits are more prevalent at different times.

And basically I'm not too bothered how others see/label me

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #22 on: Feb 22, 2016, 08:34:52 PM »
you are real
and however you define yourself or not is valid
it can be fixed fluid absent or in flux

and a label is what someone else slaps on you
and ID is what you claim for yourself
or not

lil_moomin

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #23 on: Feb 24, 2016, 11:45:44 AM »
I'm comfortable with who I am and what I am

I think this is what's important - in my mind anyway. I don't think everyone fits on the butch/femme spectrum? Don't feel I do but I don't think it really matters...
x

Offline nismat

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #24 on: Feb 25, 2016, 09:24:27 AM »
you are real
and however you define yourself or not is valid
it can be fixed fluid absent or in flux

and a label is what someone else slaps on you
and ID is what you claim for yourself

or not

Grey, thanks for this - I needed reminding of the distinction!  ;)

Offline Jaxx37

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #25 on: Feb 25, 2016, 06:35:33 PM »
Thank you so much everyone for your replies and supportive comments. It's all very confusing for me in many ways - I sometimes feel like I'm discovering my 'true self' for the first time. A scary prospect given that I'm in my early thirties and thought I had it all figured out!  As a kid I always went by 'tomboy' and always felt that suited me well, I just worry that there are certain expectations that go along with that in my adult life that were not there as a child, not bad expectations you understand - just things that I'm unaware of. Still I know how lucky I am, my family and friends are awesome and supportive, I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me and who I adore completely. I like who I am and what I am, just sometimes reading various things and seeing different people on the scene, I wonder if I need to have an ID other than lesbian. Like you all say though, it's completely up to me and how I approach my life. Thank you for reminding me of that.
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

The one thing that does not abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #26 on: Mar 05, 2016, 10:49:38 PM »
I seem to like boish women, femme women and everything inbetween. Choices, choices.

How do you choose?  ;)

Offline nismat

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #27 on: Mar 06, 2016, 12:02:14 PM »
Choose the ones that say yes!  ;D

Offline Stevie

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #28 on: Apr 14, 2016, 10:11:37 AM »
Soft butch I've found I'd as butch women but are more tomboyish in look and style

A hard Butch passes as male have make features and aren't so in tune with their feminine side this does not mean they want to transition tho.
Maybe Stevie already is everybody's ex?

Offline pars

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #29 on: Apr 30, 2016, 09:19:01 PM »
I remembered this term the other day and thought... Yes, that's you, soft butch! How did you forget?

Although I also like to drag it up with lipstick and earrings and I become much tougher.