Author Topic: Soft butch etc  (Read 2632 times)

Offline outoforder

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Soft butch etc
« on: Feb 05, 2016, 11:00:05 PM »
What's a soft butch?

Unrelated, is bi curious an identity now?

Feel free to ask any question you like in this thread.... ;D

Slantrhyme

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #1 on: Feb 06, 2016, 12:05:07 AM »
 Not sure to be honest. I think I might well be soft butch but I really don't know why.  Is it something to do with having a buzz cut but not being a hard ass? I'm not entirely sure.  I was bothered about labels when I first came out, but have since come to the conclusion that as long as my baked bean tins of labels, I'm not bothered about having one.  Anyway I'm chatting shit so I'm going to bed now.   

Offline Jˇhanna Sigur­ardˇttir

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #2 on: Feb 06, 2016, 12:47:48 AM »
I'm a cisgendered female-identifying homoromantic demi/homosexual gray-ace intersectionalist.

Who are you?

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #3 on: Feb 06, 2016, 02:41:21 AM »
a soft butch
probably wouldn't refer to themselves as
a bulldyke
bulldagger
stone
 ;)  ;D

of course I'm from another era
side effects may vary

bi-curious is an ID but apparently not in the alphabet soup of LGTBAQ yet

Online MzB

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #4 on: Feb 06, 2016, 08:16:17 AM »
I have found that a soft butch probably won't refer to themselves as a butch.

Offline mint

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #5 on: Feb 06, 2016, 01:01:32 PM »
I see bi-curious everywhere at the moment.

I sometimes wonder if I'm bi-curious in the sense of wondering about men but i think if i was confronted with a cis straight (or bi/fluid) guy and a fleshy penis i'd hate it. Maybe it's more of a result from not viewing myself as 100% lesbian with more flexibility and being open to anything if i clicked with someone but in practice is that likely to happen? i mean i had a boyfriend in high school, half my life ago, and i wouldn't even let him kiss me, there was just nothing there. But then some of my partners have ID'd along the spectrum leaning towards male (their words) so if I still ID as lesbian is that not almost not recognising/accepting their maleness <can of worms> or is it rather just stating how i see myself (maybe 'lesbian' doesn't have to be so fixed...)

Is it more your romantic attraction than your sexual attraction anyway?

Soft butch sounds to me like somewhere on the spectrum between butch and tomboy but could be totally wrong there

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #6 on: Feb 07, 2016, 01:01:09 PM »
I think it's exactly that^ the butch/tomboy spectrum
The soft butch types I know also use it as a descriptor and not an ID

Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #7 on: Feb 07, 2016, 05:56:51 PM »
well, well...


I'm a butch who might be a bit soft and a bit curious about a bi-curious woman.

Other than that, life's just grand...

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #8 on: Feb 07, 2016, 08:48:56 PM »
Well Well  ;)

Now that does sound just grand  8)  ;D


Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #9 on: Feb 07, 2016, 08:52:22 PM »
Not really, I could become .... well ..... attached .... now if there was a guarantee that I wouldn't unless it became appropriate, I'd be in there like Flynn.

And I'm not exactly awash with experience myself...


I think I'll just chill and continue to dream....... ;D

Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #10 on: Feb 07, 2016, 09:15:31 PM »
that's always a maddening erotic dilemma

chill and enjoy it
A wise decision OOO

Offline Gyda Gwen

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #11 on: Feb 09, 2016, 10:14:35 PM »
I describe myself as a soft butch really. Bit tomboyish.


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Offline Grey

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #12 on: Feb 14, 2016, 01:10:33 PM »
don't you play rugby?
I would think you're also a tough butch  ;)

Offline Jaxx37

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #13 on: Feb 15, 2016, 05:45:18 PM »
I've been wondering this myself recently, well not the bicurious part - I didn't realise that was now officially classed as an ID (I originally came across the term in a comic book when I was around 15 and it's been thrown around ever since but I didn't know it was an accepted ID).  it's good that it is though as it may just fit a friend of mine who is struggling with coming out, she's not entirely sure where she is on the spectrum of sexuality as it were.

I have been wondering about my own identity though. I'm a lesbian, this much I know - men, while fun to hang out with, are just not what I'm into. I had a couple of boyfriends in the past and while they were good guys, it always felt so wrong for me on many levels, even in terms of expected behaviours like letting them open a door or suchlike. I always identified as a 'tomboy', before I ever realised that being gay was a thing. I have been described as 'chivalrous', 'a gentlewoman' and 'charming' in the past all of which made me smile, but then again I have long curly red hair (though to be honest it's not especially styled, it's messy and suits my personality) so maybe I'm not on the butch spectrum either.

My question is - what is the difference between a soft butch and a tomboy if there is any?
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

The one thing that does not abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.

Offline outoforder

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Re: Soft butch etc
« Reply #14 on: Feb 16, 2016, 05:59:19 PM »
I know I made this thread, but I don't really care what is the difference. It's a bit of hokey pokey really isn't it? Just be, I say. Charming I'd take. Chivalrous I'd dump, I think.

What I do need though is a head transplant.....