Hello again Lust for Life
Firstly I really want to say thank you to you for that you gave me such a sincere and honest advice. I was filled with tears.
I think that she will hate me if the reason of that I want to be with her is looking after her physically. And I too hate to think that I feel sympathy with her and I don't feel so at all. Illnesses are just superficial matters of her. I don't know whether you believe it or not, but her health problems are not big issues at all for me. She knows and copes with them so so well and there is nothing I can do for her about it.
It's very hard to explain but I fell in love with her sense of humanity which gives me strength, kindness, thoughtfulness and beautiful sense of being. Her each word is full of wisdom as a deep and complicated human being. Her greatness teaches me to become wiser, be free from fixed narrow mind and simply be kind to others and yourself. Yes, she maybe eccentric (lol) and stubborn in some ways (!!!) but for me they are extraordinarily beautiful nature and I've never met anyone who has such awesome and rich sense of being. I love her just as the way she is.
We now know that we are so different from each other and so unusual compared to others. But we both want to have someone who is special for you. I believe this attracted us to have met and now we are going to grow some relationships.
I think that she looks and will look after me in the way of helping me improve my attitude towards life. She is so supportive mentally. And hopefully I can look after her in the way of showing and giving deep trust towards her which will ease her broken heart. Of course I do think we can look after each other in the way of practicality. She knows so many things and I call her 'human google' (lol). She can look after me in the way of intelligence: giving so much information about everything. I, although it is classic, love cooking and baking so I can look after her tummy (lol).
We have talked about 'balance' which is needed for everything to work well, including human relationships.
But yes, I do understand what you told me. If my feelings at last don't reach her heart and our relationship doesn't grow as I wanted, then all will still become treasure of my life!
Thank you so much again for your advice. It gave me a great opportunity to think why I like her so much and how I want our relationship to go.....
PS please forgive me if I didn't make any sense. I blame on my rubbish brain cause of the morning after night duty
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