Author Topic: Totally lost  (Read 1258 times)

Offline Kittymore

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Totally lost
« on: Aug 02, 2015, 11:31:48 AM »
I am married, have been for nearly 9 years to a wonderful man. I am a lesbian, I know this, he knows this I only dated women before him, we have a young son who passed away as a baby and we have been unable to carry another child. Besides sexually he is everything I want. I was seeing women casually and he was aware.

I met someone about 4 months ago, we have seen each other on and off she told me pretty quickly she loved me and wanted to be with me, I explained I wasn't leaving my husband, I wanted more kids. She said she would stand by me regardless and wanted to be with me no matter what this caused me a lot of confusion.
Since I have began I think to develop feelings, I am so confused because I have no real idea we spend time together but we havent dated or been together really so it is hard to tell.
I have no support or anyone to talk to. I have no family or place to go. I don't want to jump from one thing to another, I keep thinking how I would like to date her and see how it goes but I don't really have this choice due to the fact I have nowhere to go if I left my husband and I don't know if I want to leave him. I just feel selfish and awful

She has told me she is happy with how things are, seeing me regardless so really I guess this isn't an issue but it is becoming an issue for me. I don't want to do this, my husband knew I was with women but there were no feelings there.

I feel like everyone will judge me if I try to talk to them about it

Offline tin-tin-tin

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Re: Totally lost
« Reply #1 on: Aug 02, 2015, 11:15:31 PM »
It sounds like difficult thing to be going through.
Did you consider the idea of polyamorous relationships? It sounds like the woman you date might be open to the idea. Your husband might take time to adjust to it - but maybe you could introduce him to it gradually?

oldsoul

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Re: Totally lost
« Reply #2 on: Nov 11, 2015, 06:38:26 PM »
So sorry for the loss of your young son, that must have been a very difficult experience for both you and your husband.

Im not sure who is struggling with the situation you describe. If your husband is aware as you say of your feelings for women and you have a woman in love with you who is prepared to accept your marriage and commitment to that then what is the problem? Best of both worlds I would say. Go for it. I was in a similar situation in the 1990,s and looking back at it now it is probably one of the most fulfilling times of my life.

Update?