I've been reading some blogs on Everyday Feminism and thought I'd share some of the notions there. Not sure if this is the right thread for it, so am prepared to start a new discussion. I think on other topics this will be necessary...
It's about BDSM. The idea that even if you are asexual you can still enjoy aspects of it. The imagination being fully developed to expose oneself to the delights of some of the aspects involved. The complexity of sexual attraction/desire - the full spectrum of this being allowed(in consensual relationships). It was suggesting in this blog that BDSM can be a kind of cartharsis, for some, to take back control that was taken away from them by abuse. Hadn't thought of that prospect before, why it can be so appealing to some, this attraction to 'kink' as they referred to it. The idea is to create safe, intimate places for women, especially, to empower them to explore their full sexualities rather than the prescribed ones, and to support them in their personal choices.
The idea being that 'painful sex' can be a turn-on to some, whether as receiver or giver, or both. That really fascinates me. The idea that girls are brought up to be demure and coy and allow men to make all the decisions for them and to take control of them sexually. To be indoctrinated into the idea of 'having sex done to you', rather than being a fully sexualised being with one's own needs and desires, still rarely expressed in the West, mostly non-existent elsewhere.
The idea that some women get pleasure from causing pain during sex, is never really explored in mainstream society. It just sort of suggests to me that the whole idea of the 'sex education curriculum' should be completely overhauled, but obviously this would be far too 'controversial' an idea for conventional society to include.
That's where I've been most of my life, in traditional land, so please do excuse my ignorance on these topics, but I think you will agree that I am open to debate, whereas most of society, especially males, probably wouldn't want these ideas 'spread' to impressionable, young girls' minds while they are still pliable for change.
Just imaging if I had been exposed to such things when young, how that would have engaged me and given me a wider choice than the completely restricted, staid environment that I have been in for most of my life. It would really be challenging to the status quo if such ideas were fed to women's minds. Most, certainly the ones where I live, still find it incredible to believe that there is a network of links for lesbians etc to connect up with. We are still really at an embryonic stage when it comes to allowing women the full range of sexual experiences that they might wish to engage in with other women. Mind you, having said that, most of those I have come across in this community don't seem all that imaginative when it comes to such possibilities, perhaps a lack of 'sexual appetite', which again could be due to social conditioning. But, yeah, I can very much visualise the idea of getting pleasure from such activity...
