Author Topic: Painful sex?  (Read 4802 times)

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #45 on: Mar 26, 2015, 03:01:57 AM »
Really I am just pleased we live in relatively 'enlightened' times where such thoughts, feelings, actions can take place for women who choose to do so. And the fact that modern technology allows contact with other women who, although may not share my own personal tastes on certain subjects, allow me insight in other possibilities for those who wish to indulge in such things. All in all, I guess it is a splendid era to be living in.

 The fact that, although I might hazard the guess that most gays and lesbians might cover up their sexualities, in their private moments they can do what they what they want as long as , as someone correctly pointed out, they are all consenting adults. Something of which I have always believed in, but unfortunately, it seems to me, that in mainstream society, that isn't always the case.

 Perhaps that is why lesbianism is seen as so much of a threat to it. The idea, maybe, that for the majority of them, perhaps their relationships are more healthier than most, from what I have observed all around me here and in life, not to mention some of the 'crazy' images and 'storylines' that go for the interpretation of women's sexualities(I site 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and that type of misinformed dangerous nonsense that distorts the reality of violence on women etc that, it seems to me, in this culture and others, seem to 'glorify' such atrocities.

 I hope people don't think I am speaking out of ignorance, but what I see in life and films etc really disturbs me sometimes, the sheer madness of what is being portrayed there at times. No wonder they want to subjugate and belittle women's empowerment as sexual beings, and their right to make their own choices in these matters. I think it was 'The Beauty Myth' book that suggested something like, 'women's sexualities have to be curbed by patriarchy because it has the potential to threaten 'civilisation' as it currently stands. Quite an empowering thought, I felt on reading that..

mint

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #46 on: Mar 26, 2015, 10:42:43 AM »
To be honest I read that recently and I think she's somewhat hypocritical as she appears to have her own agenda in terms of policing women's sexuality anyway.

As someone wiser than me said: Sexuality is not the problem, the sexualisation of women in media is the problem.

Offline Musette

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #47 on: Mar 26, 2015, 12:12:43 PM »
I think men fear women's sexuality.
I think they fear and despise lesbians because they don't even look to men to satisfy that sexuality.
I think men think that everyone should be in awe of the mighty (bio) cock.
They are confused, therefore fearful, therefore angry, when that isn't the case.

Slight wander off topic, but hey ho.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

Slantrhyme

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #48 on: Mar 26, 2015, 12:44:51 PM »
I just think men fear women full stop. They've so carefully built up this fragile myth about masculinity and how to be a manly man, that anything that contradicts that, or is beyond their control scares the bejesus out of them. Better not to let it get out of control, and that which is already out of their control has to be mocked and derided, attack being the best form of defence and that.

Offline Musette

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #49 on: Mar 26, 2015, 11:13:51 PM »
Yup, that too.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #50 on: Mar 29, 2015, 12:40:19 AM »
It was VIrginia Woolf who said that no one could fail to notice that we are living in a world controlled by patriarchs. It still amazes me how many women, of whatever persuasion, still refuse to accept the obvious, one being a correspondent of mine who backed away from this when I contradicted 'her version' of reality, basically what she had been instructed to believe in by the dominant male narrative. That always puzzles me. Why women defend the system that evidently oppresses them...

I was thinking, in a way a bit of a disturbing thought, but knowing the way the world is set up, in favour of men, it does puzzle me that they have 'allowed' women and gays/lesbians to have a smidgen of power and autonomy, when really they could have continued to deny us all that? To their own advantage? I wonder why those elites in the past allowed those with little power to change things, some amount of liberation to live lives freer than in the past and allow more choices to be made? That's rather an unnerving thought, considering the way society/the world seems to be going with attempts to control women etc. Quite a worrying aspect going on in this world, methinks..

Offline Lust for Life

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #51 on: Mar 29, 2015, 11:32:09 AM »
If 'fisting' were called 'filling' it wouldn't get so many  :o reactions from the uninititiated.

There are hundreds of variables which affect how much fits when.  The same two people may only sometimes be able to do it, and some partners may never be able to. A major variable is willingness (on both sides). 

And Fetish kitty's post is ace.

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #52 on: Mar 30, 2015, 05:39:30 PM »
Just a comment. Made to me quite some time ago by what you would call an 'unreliable narrator' who was one of these types who liked to embroider their conversations with 'embellishments', shall we say. It did sound quite preposterous to me at the time, and still does, so I thought I'd put it out there and see what others comments are on this.

This particular female, a bisexual friend of yesteryear, suggested to me once, that she had known a woman who had been traumatised by sexual abuse which consisted of being violated and then 'sewn up', her vagina, and violated again???

The fact that this is a very serious topic, violation, sort of made my eyebrows raise, the possibility she could be making a jest out of such an extremely potentially psychological and physical effect this would have on anyone, but does anyone really believe this as a possible fact? The sheer absurdity seemed to scream out at me and still does?? And, if untrue?, why would anyone make such a crass joke out of such a serious subject? Any suggestions...?

Groke

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #53 on: Mar 30, 2015, 06:33:13 PM »
Why did you think it was a joke?

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #54 on: Mar 30, 2015, 06:44:58 PM »
I think if sex painful..you simply don't 'want it enough' so : have it when you Do! ;)
Or..maybe you Tired, or..your 'partner' - talk to her, help her..she can't read minds! Sometimes you get 'stuck in a rut' or 'do the things you know !You like/like to receive' - kind information, smiles, focussed UNcriticaltalk 'outside the bedroom, not in the heat of the moment!'
Some girls get it wrong through lack of experience, shown by certain ways they do things..perhaps they think it won't spoil things if they just mirror what they favourite.
But sometimes people 'not in the mood' - perhaps they can only really 'do it' on certain nights/hours (say if they flatmates!) and..
a VERY good idea is to not go to bed with expectations..cuddle a lot, progress from there, be affectionate, have alot of foreplay, kiss alot and..you know, let HER lead it..
Bed is fun, not a Battleground - when it IS, you shouldn't be there..
Perfect Panth..Vote BREXIT! x

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #55 on: Mar 31, 2015, 12:03:10 AM »
Why did I think it was a joke, that comment that female made? It seemed almost an impossibility? I can imagine that there would be sadistic enough males, and even some women following the dictates of their men, to do the 'sewing up', so to speak? But just how would a man violate a woman who had had this done to her?

 The implication my former friend gave was that this woman had been 'penetrated' by the male organ. Would that have been possible? Surely it would have been considerably painful for the aggressor too? That's what made me question it?

The fact that things like FGM goes on in this world proves, additionally, just how far men, and unfortunately, some women will go to control or prevent women's sexual desires, but just what would have been the reasoning for this act, if it did occur, from the point of view of the violator?

Groke

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #56 on: Mar 31, 2015, 09:49:40 AM »
I think, given your professed lack of experience in these matters, it might be best to come from the position of thinking everything was possible.

Though I confess I've never heard of this practice myself. Although it doesn't sound far off the horror of FGM, which is very real.

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #57 on: Mar 31, 2015, 12:08:46 PM »
I'm pretty sure I've read about the practice of being sewn up for the sake of the enjoyment of men having a tighter vagina...that seemed to be a bit voluntary and a bit cultural pressure. Can't remember what country. Appalling wherever it was. It certainly wouldn't surprise me if that was being forced on women.

Toniee .... Perhaps your assumptions should be that everything is possible, for enjoyment , for pain, by choice and by force. You seem immersed in finding everything unbelievable, good or bad. It all exists.

Offline Musette

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #58 on: Mar 31, 2015, 12:23:49 PM »
Indeed. A few of us have said the same thing now.
If you can imagine it or have heard about it then it's a fair bet that people are doing it, whether you understand it or not.

I've tried plenty of things in my time, but there are still plenty that I've never tried - some I'd like to, some which don't appeal at all. But I know that other people do these things and enjoy them, even if I don't think that I would. Equally I know there are things I do that others would find incomprehensible or implausible (having sex with another woman, for a start ;) )

As long as it's safe, sane and consensual, then anything goes really.
Of course, there are times when things are not SSC, in which case it can tip over into abuse.
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #59 on: Mar 31, 2015, 02:22:35 PM »
The whole thread seems off to me.

I had decided not to post again but I couldn't let anyone think that the sewing vagina thing was any sort of 'joke' even if I don't trust the motives of thread starter.