Author Topic: Painful sex?  (Read 3396 times)

Offline Guineapig

  • Promoter
  • Gingerbeer Devotee
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,379
  • *meep meep*
    • The Yoga Club
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #60 on: Mar 31, 2015, 02:24:59 PM »
^ that.
Gingerbeer Yoga Thread
  
*meep meep*

Offline Grey

  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,452
  • old school old butch
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #61 on: Mar 31, 2015, 02:38:53 PM »
yep

delete and lock?

Offline horse

  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,142
  • Gingerbeer.co.uk - The Lesbian Guide
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #62 on: Mar 31, 2015, 06:47:09 PM »
I was led to believe everyone on here was a feminist, yet some wander around looking puzzled over the issue of FGM ?
How have you all managed not to have read about this ?

Pharaonic Circumcision (or infibulation),
favoured by the Sudanese I think, same sort of roots as the Jewish practice of symbolically separating the male and female.
The clitoris and labia minora are removed and the labia majora are sewn up until they are married (sometimes it is re-sewn after consummation)
Culturally very hard to break because without this procedure the girl is unable to marry and it is very tied in to how they believe conception works. The western viewpoint of sexual pleasure being the most important thing doesn't have the same weight in these cultures, this is probably why we suck at changing it.

I gather it is also practised by masochists, a variation being the adding of rings to the labia to present a corset image or the male foreskin being sewn up.

Agree, thread needs to be moved.
« Last Edit: Mar 31, 2015, 06:52:02 PM by horse »

Offline સરસ

  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 6,943
  • To err is human, to moo bovine.
    • http://gaydargirls.com/anti.k
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #63 on: Mar 31, 2015, 07:06:30 PM »
Nobody here is puzzled by FGM Horse... I can assure you that... What Tonie posted about is NOT about young girls being mutilated for the sake of some god awful barbaric so called cultural tradition..



This particular female, a bisexual friend of yesteryear, suggested to me once, that she had known a woman who had been traumatised by sexual abuse which consisted of being violated and then 'sewn up', her vagina, and violated again???



 ::)

Truth does not depend on a consensus of opinion.

Dear karma, You're not really paying attention so I got a list of people you missed.

Offline Plus One

  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,306
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #64 on: Mar 31, 2015, 07:14:31 PM »
Horse.
What I was talking about did not involve any removal of the clitoris or labia ...it was just about sewing up... even the original poster has heard of FGM (and that's saying something).
But thanks for the lesson.

 





Offline horse

  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,142
  • Gingerbeer.co.uk - The Lesbian Guide
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #65 on: Mar 31, 2015, 07:24:57 PM »
Sorry if I misunderstood, entire thread is vaguer than a vague thing :(

Offline Musette

  • Perfect London Lesbian in Mum Casual
  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,089
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #66 on: Apr 01, 2015, 01:53:35 AM »
I was led to believe everyone on here was a feminist, yet some wander around looking puzzled over the issue of FGM ?
How have you all managed not to have read about this ?

Seriously?
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

toniee

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #67 on: Apr 01, 2015, 02:08:16 AM »
I've been reading some blogs on Everyday Feminism and thought I'd share some of the notions there. Not sure if this is the right thread for it, so am prepared to start a new discussion. I think on other topics this will be necessary...

It's about BDSM. The idea that even if you are asexual you can still enjoy aspects of it. The imagination being fully developed to expose oneself to the delights of some of the aspects involved. The complexity of sexual attraction/desire - the full spectrum of this being allowed(in consensual relationships). It was suggesting in this blog that BDSM can be a kind of cartharsis, for some, to take back control that was taken away from them by abuse. Hadn't thought of that prospect before, why it can be so appealing to some, this attraction to 'kink' as they referred to it. The idea is to create safe, intimate places for women, especially, to empower them to explore their full sexualities rather than the prescribed ones, and to support them in their personal choices.

The idea being that 'painful sex' can be a turn-on to some, whether as receiver or giver, or both. That really fascinates me. The idea that girls are brought up to be demure and coy and allow men to make all the decisions for them and to take control of them sexually. To be indoctrinated into the idea of 'having sex done to you', rather than being a fully sexualised being with one's own needs and desires, still rarely expressed in the West, mostly non-existent elsewhere.

 The idea that some women get pleasure from causing pain during sex, is never really explored in mainstream society. It just sort of suggests to me that the whole idea of the 'sex education curriculum' should be completely overhauled, but obviously this would be far too 'controversial' an idea for conventional society to include.

 That's where I've been most of my life, in traditional land, so please do excuse my ignorance on these topics, but I think you will agree that I am open to debate, whereas most of society, especially males, probably wouldn't want these ideas 'spread' to impressionable, young girls' minds while they are still pliable for change.

 Just imaging if I had been exposed to such things when young, how that would have engaged me and given me a wider choice than the completely restricted, staid environment that I have been in for most of my life. It would really be challenging to the status quo if such ideas were fed to women's minds. Most, certainly the ones where I live, still find it incredible to believe that there is a network of links for lesbians etc to connect up with. We are still really at an embryonic stage when it comes to allowing women the full range of sexual experiences that they might wish to engage in with other women. Mind you, having said that, most of those I have come across in this community don't seem all that imaginative when it comes to such possibilities, perhaps a lack of 'sexual appetite', which again could be due to social conditioning. But, yeah, I can very much visualise the idea of getting pleasure from such activity...

Cas73

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #68 on: Apr 01, 2015, 09:36:38 AM »
This really needs to be moved to The Vault, or The Dungeon now that toniee has introduced BDSM.


Offline Musette

  • Perfect London Lesbian in Mum Casual
  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,089
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #69 on: Apr 01, 2015, 10:33:28 AM »
^ yes. I just PM'd tonieee about this very topic (and suggested that her new Gender thread go in Identity Matters).
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

toniee

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #70 on: Apr 01, 2015, 11:22:22 AM »
Apologies to all. My mistake. As suggested I will be more careful in future where I place my threads. I have messaged the moderator on these two matters, because i don't know how to move threads to one section to another. Hopefully, this will be done now(complete technophobe...). I'll try and get it right next time... Again apologies to anyone who might have been offended by my comments..

Cas73

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #71 on: Apr 01, 2015, 11:33:30 AM »
I'm not offended by anything toniee, it's just that certain topics need to be in certain areas  :)

Offline Musette

  • Perfect London Lesbian in Mum Casual
  • Gingerbeer Goddess
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,089
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #72 on: Apr 01, 2015, 01:57:53 PM »
Indeed - not offended, toniee, just pointing out what's appropriate :)
"U r a multifaceted dark horse. Oh yes you are..."

a wise and helpful soul, Musette  ;D

toniee

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #73 on: Apr 01, 2015, 02:16:48 PM »
Can anyone tell me how to move these two threads to the appropriate ones? I did contact EVicT, but haven't heard anything back from them. They contacted me early this week about this thread and asked me if I wanted to move it to The Vault, and I agreed, but haven't any other response from them.

I mentioned the other thread today as well, but so far, nothing. What do I do? Is there anyone who can move these two threads to the required ones on my behalf, just in case they do offend anyone who might stumble upon them unknowingly?

I was going to add some comments that I heard Jo Brand, the comedienne, make on the subject of sex, but will wait till these threads are in the right places before I do. They amused me, her jokes, but others might find them a bit 'provocative' as can be the nature of her humour...?! Can anyone assist me with these threads or tell me how to contact someone who can? Thanks.. I'm thinking of some other topics now, on other subjects, so will see if there are any related threads or start my own, hopefully in the right space??!

toniee

  • Guest
Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #74 on: Apr 02, 2015, 08:16:35 AM »
Now this thread has been moved, I will go ahead with Jo Brand's jokes. Just her observations on the subject of sex.

She was talking about sex with men, but obviously this applies to all types. The idea that there is 'a lot of grunting and farting and then they turn round and ask how was it for you!?!'. That got a big laugh from her audience!

Also, she was relating a passage from the book 'written'(probably ghosted one imagines!?)by the army officer, Hewitt, who she was having an affair with Princess Diana(and so many rumours about Harry, nudge, nudge!?). The part in the book where he has just 'made love' to Princess Diana. The prose goes on in its Mills and Boon way, that he looked around at Diana and saw she was crying(obviously intended to suggest that his 'sexual prowess' had brought her to an estatic joy!). Jo hit the nail on the head when she said, in her deadpan manner, 'Don't worry, Diana. We've all had that experience!!!' Which sort of took the wind out of Hewitt's attempt to suggest he was some sort of 'hot lover!!!'. Quite funny that!!

It was even more funny when Jo suggested that because of her 'anti-male' jokes(more like redressing the balance, boys!), and the way she looked, that most people assumed she was a lesbian. She said she wasn't, and that she had received quite a few letters from lesbians telling her, that if she was one, to keep in the closet because she was 'giving lesbians a bad name!!'.

I found that quite believable, recalling a wacky gay publication that was on the scene a long time ago, who had a page dedicated to those stars who were presumed Gay, who they would prefer stayed in the closet too!! It's good when a community can take the 'p--s' out of itself, without being nasty!

As someone said about a very serious matter, I won't go into details, 'you'd think she'd have more of a sense of humour about things!'. Dark humour can be very dark at times. As Voltaire wrote about the great tragedies of this world, what else can you do, but make dark humour out of them? Such is the complex world that we all have to negotiate, every day, to try and maintain some sort of sanity, faced with the absurdity of life all around us. Blind me, alarmingly awake....