Author Topic: Painful sex?  (Read 3394 times)

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #30 on: Mar 24, 2015, 02:36:31 AM »
Perhaps I should track that down too? They do say you can learn just as much by how not to do things, by observing amateurs, as by watching experts!!!

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #31 on: Mar 25, 2015, 02:03:12 AM »
Just another thing that sort of had me pondering. Does anyone really indulge in 'fisting?'. It seems one of the most illogical of 'sex acts'. I mean, what possible sexual stimulation, either way, could anyone get, or give, from this? Is it even really possible? Sometimes, it does sort of amaze me what some people will do to get 'sexual kicks' by what might be seen by most people as 'extreme practices'.

As already explained, I am not really that motivated by the sexual act alone, so it does bemuse and befog me how and why people need to 'stretch the boundaries' so to speak, of what most people would consider going beyond the pale. With that act particularly, well, I just don't 'get it'. Can anyone shed any light on this(s'cuse my ignorance, but even if I were sexually active, that sort of 'fringe element' to sex would hold no appeal to me. Just a personal take on the topic of sexual matters..

Offline Meryl Streep Fan Club

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #32 on: Mar 25, 2015, 07:58:40 AM »
Just confused as to why this is now in Whatever You Fancy! as opposed to the Vault?

GB is getting weirder and weirder. Must be the X Files effect.......
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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #33 on: Mar 25, 2015, 08:05:59 AM »
Just confused as to why this is now in Whatever You Fancy! as opposed to the Vault?

GB is getting weirder and weirder. Must be the X Files effect.......

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Cas73

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #34 on: Mar 25, 2015, 08:27:10 AM »
Just another thing that sort of had me pondering. Does anyone really indulge in 'fisting?'. It seems one of the most illogical of 'sex acts'. I mean, what possible sexual stimulation, either way, could anyone get, or give, from this? Is it even really possible? Sometimes, it does sort of amaze me what some people will do to get 'sexual kicks' by what might be seen by most people as 'extreme practices'.

As already explained, I am not really that motivated by the sexual act alone, so it does bemuse and befog me how and why people need to 'stretch the boundaries' so to speak, of what most people would consider going beyond the pale. With that act particularly, well, I just don't 'get it'. Can anyone shed any light on this(s'cuse my ignorance, but even if I were sexually active, that sort of 'fringe element' to sex would hold no appeal to me. Just a personal take on the topic of sexual matters..

Bold mine. 

Yes toniee, people do indulge in fisting.  What possible sexual stimulation?  Well erm, think about it  ;)  And yes it is possible, with plenty of trust and lube available.

And extreme is just a matter of perception.

I agree Meryl, this topic definitely needs to be Vaulterised.  Although it is amusing that it's now in the Whatever You Fancy section considering toniee's question ;D

Edited to add a little more.
« Last Edit: Mar 25, 2015, 08:33:56 AM by peca »

dukovearl

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #35 on: Mar 25, 2015, 08:52:55 AM »
Evict's choice - the moving location, not the fisting - I don't know if anyone else asked for it to be moved from work safety (I'm boycotting those initials  ;) ) but I did and perhaps she didn't quite picture me in the vault  ;D


As for fisting, well, it's not for those who dislike penetration, but I have it on reasonable authority that the feeling of fullness is amazing and the G-spot gets the attention it craves, plus because it is potentially painful the trust involved is a buzz. I haven't slept with anyone who enjoyed pain, so I can't comment on that possibility.

flora poste

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #36 on: Mar 25, 2015, 09:52:33 AM »
Just another thing that sort of had me pondering. Does anyone really indulge in 'fisting?'. It seems one of the most illogical of 'sex acts'. I mean, what possible sexual stimulation, either way, could anyone get, or give, from this? Is it even really possible? Sometimes, it does sort of amaze me what some people will do to get 'sexual kicks' by what might be seen by most people as 'extreme practices'.

As already explained, I am not really that motivated by the sexual act alone, so it does bemuse and befog me how and why people need to 'stretch the boundaries' so to speak, of what most people would consider going beyond the pale. With that act particularly, well, I just don't 'get it'. Can anyone shed any light on this(s'cuse my ignorance, but even if I were sexually active, that sort of 'fringe element' to sex would hold no appeal to me. Just a personal take on the topic of sexual matters..

ooooohkay. Finding your 'fringe element' 'sex act' quotation marks and tone a wee bit judgey.

I know you have confessed your ignorance and that you are truly interested in learning - I know also that you don't get why people might do this stuff. But just because it's your cup of tea doesn't mean it can't respectfully be other people's.

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #37 on: Mar 25, 2015, 09:55:51 AM »
God, I love fisting, both giving and receiving. I had a partner last year who could be double fisted...in two permutations (I'll leave it to your imaginations as to which two). Incredible.

Sorry, am I lowering the tone?

And yeah...judging other people's consensual sexual activities is impolite.

kitty

Offline Arig

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #38 on: Mar 25, 2015, 10:25:44 AM »
From personal experience, as someone who doesn't actually engage in penetrative sex often at all, but for my lovers, it is a whole other ball game.
I don't really ponder on why I can find so many sexual partners that crave what I want to give, but not receive. Why would I ponder about it?

So does anyone engage in it? Too many people to count. Both ways and also there are people into double fisting.

Illogical sex act? What are the logical ones and what is your comparison too? For me, illogical would be heterosexual sex depicted in romantic films. Weird looking and holds no appeal to me, do I understand why anyone would want to engage in "that"?? No. But I assume it is because they enjoy it...

People engage in fisting because they love it, want it, crave the feeling of fullness and the sensations that only a full hand inside them can provide. They come and they want more or they don't come but enjoy it to such a crazy amount it is better than coming or having multiple orgasms.

Is it even possible? Yes, VERY. Google and find sex blogs with info, it's widely available. Lube and trust are just the beginning.

I don't know what you mean with extreme, if someone wants to participate in a certain sexual act and finds partners into it all adults, consenting and informed... What is extreme about that? The loving trust they have between them? Is that beyond the pale?

Ignorant or not, giving value judgement on people's possible sexual choices is a fringe behaviour in itself, even though socially speaking it is the done thing, so is being homophobic or sexist but I still do not appreciate reading it here.

There is a difference between asking questions for information on something you do not understand and labelling what you are ignorant of as "fringe" "extreme" "beyond the pale" and say they are "sex acts" that are you wonder as to the extent people will go for "sexual kicks". It is rude and judgmental.
The fact that you yourself admit and explain sex is not a priority to you does not in any way prevent you from being able to ask a question without labelling those who may engage in what you are asking about.

Slantrhyme

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #39 on: Mar 25, 2015, 01:42:08 PM »
Fisting, yes, it's perfectly possible, and yes, it can be intensely pleasurable, but as other people have said, it takes a lot of lube, and trust, on both sides.
Also, as other people have said, I don't want to see sex shaming on here. We've got the heterosexual world for that. By all means ask questions, but don't weight them with such judgmental opinions, especially when you have absolutely no experience in the matter.

toniee

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #40 on: Mar 25, 2015, 01:42:25 PM »
Apologies if I have offended anyone here. Wasn't my intention. And yeah, perhaps I have been too 'judgmental'. I guess, as someone who has never engaged in penetrative sex, the very thought of 'fisting', and any pleasure it may give to a lover, seems rather a forbidden thought to me- simply blows my mind at such a suggestion.

I have 'confessed' that I am an ingenue on these topics, and really this doesn't get discussed much in mainstream entertainment or publications or lesbian ones either, so it is something that I haven't really been exposed to - this idea- that women not only indulge in such activities but get a sexual buzz from it?? It still leaves me with a bit of a shudder down my spine, I confess, that actual thought.

I also accept the label that someone gave me of being 'rude' and 'judgemental' on this particular subject and again apologise. I've really lead an incredibly sheltered life, coming from that awful background of mine and the extremely unfortunate circumstances of my life that has really prevented me from participating in the wider lesbian community, so I guess that, in a strange way, my curiosity level is that connected to a teenage school kid's one. The fact that I only had one and a half years at secondary school and missed out on sex education there and at home, just really compounded my ignorance in such matters.

I am open to opposite points of views and apologise that I expressed myself so clumsily on this matter. It does intrigue me that such things are not only possible but pleasurable? The sort of creative thinking in my head now of the parallel existence that could have been mine if things had been different for me and I had been allowed to experience such delights with women.

I have been informed that it is best to transfer this subject to The Vault. This being considered a 'hot potato' of a subject. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my queries etc. It wasn't my intention. Just reflecting on the sort of things that lesbians etc get up up to in their sex lives.

I like to believe I have a 'healthy fantasy life'. I just wanted to hear what other experienced women find sexually stimulating, given that this topic, on what really turns on lesbians etc is not something you normally come across in everyday discussions etc. Someone did suggest seeking out such things online for enlightenment, but I am not sure I would be able to 'tolerate' such explicit stuff being shown or talked about directly...? Thanks for all your input and updates on all this. Very informative...

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #41 on: Mar 25, 2015, 01:57:02 PM »
Thank you for the apology :)

I would also say that just because other people enjoy penetrative sex, fisting, oral sex, anal sex etc etc, it doesn't mean that you have to. You don't even have to 'try' things to decide that they are not for you. Nobody should ever make you feel bad for your sexuality (I mean that word in its broadest sense). You have full autonomy over your sexual self. Anyone who tries to change that without your consent is a wrong 'un.

So, if you don't want to explore these things, online or otherwise, then don't. They are not 'required behaviour' in any sense. Sex should always feel good. It's not a competition or some kind of 'self-improvement project', unless you want it to be. There are plenty of women who don't like penetration or any other sexual activity...it doesn't make them bad people or 'not real' lesbians.

kitty

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #42 on: Mar 25, 2015, 05:39:16 PM »
^ exactly this.

Also, toniee, it might be hard for you to believe, but if there is a sex act you can imagine or have heard about, then you can bet that someone, somewhere, is doing it. For fun :)
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Slantrhyme

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #43 on: Mar 25, 2015, 07:38:14 PM »
And a lot more besides. People get up to all sorts of Wierd and wonderful things in the name of pleasure. As long as it's between two consenting adults then go them.   

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Re: Painful sex?
« Reply #44 on: Mar 25, 2015, 07:45:37 PM »
In summary, it's a beautiful time to be alive.
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