Author Topic: Most bi-friendly part of the UK  (Read 1342 times)


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Most bi-friendly part of the UK
« on: Jun 14, 2013, 09:27:01 PM »
Which parts of the UK do you think are the most bi-friendly?

Which places do you think have the most friendly mixing between lesbians and bi-women?

Which parts the least?

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Re: Most bi-friendly part of the UK
« Reply #1 on: Jun 15, 2013, 02:40:54 PM »
Wow. Looking forward to people's opinions on this!

I really couldn't say.

I lived in Cambridge in the late 80s, and while some individual bi women were accepted, bisexuality generally was considered beyond the pale. I was a student and in student politics at the time bisexuals were not welcome at lesbian & gay events. The party line was that their issues were"totally different" (ha) and they should organise separately. But that says more about the era than the area.

SE London and Manchester in the early to mid 90s didn't feel much different, tho without the righteous student politicking. It was more a cultural thing, like lesbian identity was formed in counterpoint to bi identity, so part of being a proper lesbian was dissing bi women. Yuck.

By the early noughties, when I came out as bi, in London, I didn't encounter much trouble but by then I had amassed a lot of good, old friends who cared about me, not my label, and I'd been out as a lesbian for so long that no one half my age in a bar was going to make me feel like I didn't belong. (I mean: try it!  ;D)

I hope that things have changed - my impression from the students from all over the country whom I meet thru my work is that things are far more inclusive than they used to be. Is that the knock-on effect of organising under the LGBT acronym, rather than as lesbians and gay men? Maybe...

I went to an event last week where there were a lot of older women (60+) and I kind of expected that when I identified myself as bi I might get a bit of flack because my experience of older generations is that their sort of cultural anti-bi prejudice dies hard in some cases, but I had one of those lovely moments I referred to in Wongy's thread, where the older woman next to me suddenly lit up and said, "Oh, me too!"

Anyway, I'm very interested to hear what others think.

Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard, but I think...


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Re: Most bi-friendly part of the UK
« Reply #2 on: Jun 15, 2013, 03:04:35 PM »
I'd be more interested to hear most bi/queer friendly parts of the world. I suspect the more chilled out the place, the more acceptng it'd be ; so I'd hope BC/West Coast of North America might be relatively accepting, though I'm sure it has its unpleasantnesses too. (HB, what's your take on that?)

I liked being a queer person in Brighton. I didn't really spend time with anyone there who identified as 100% straight. Mostly gay, queer and degrees of bi/heteroflexible. Plus they have LBT meditation days, LGBT book groups in all the city libraries, gay walking groups, etc. Between gay scene, hippy scene and chilled out, lots of sex shops sort of attitude, it felt like a pleasantly sex positive sort of a place to live overall. (But definitely not a perfect place to live, else I'd still be there.)

Here where I live now I do find it a bit straight overall, though I have met a few other queers and I think there's quite a few older (than me) lesbians about. Considering what a small town it is, we're having our first Pride here (in the civic hall!) in September. That amuses and charms me.


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Re: Most bi-friendly part of the UK
« Reply #3 on: Jun 17, 2013, 12:14:23 AM »
I'd always assume Brighton, it's like they pump tolerance and acceptance into the water or something.

NZ seems pretty relaxed, in the cities at least anyway.


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Re: Most bi-friendly part of the UK
« Reply #4 on: Jun 17, 2013, 08:39:35 AM »
well the communities are split, Biz. same as ever. There is more over lap than their used to be. Some of the 40+ anti-anythingbutlesbian dykes I've seen at queer events and to be honest I've been gobsmacked because these were extremely vocal anti-bi, anti-butch/femme, anti-trans voices and lesbian leaders I knew. I am suspicous that they were there trying to dig up support for their events. I don't really trust those gals, they were pretty mean.

but it's two camps really. there's the "monogamous lesbians and nothing but monogamous lesbians" groups and then there's the "butch, femme, bear, genderqueer, bi, pan, poly and/or kinky dykes"
the two cross over more than they used to but... I wouldn't say it's much cross over. They pretty much mostly keep themselves separate as far as I can tell. The monog lesbian tribe is the largest, most widespread, and the "everyone else" kind of organises more things to do because they need the community more: there's far less of them. And there's always that sort of gaurded "we need a tight community" feeling that can come across as a little hostile. Kind of who-are-you-and-are-you-going-to-start-being-an-asshole? kind of vibe.
That said, once people knew who I was and relaxed, when I got a bit bored of everyone being busy putting away things from the event, I went and talked to some random Iranian dude cause I was a bit drunk and missing the socialising in england (no lock-in?? what do you mean everyone is going home at 12:30 AM??? WHAT???"  ::) )
Anyway, he started coming on to me, asking me to go upstairs for a wink wink, I have cigarettes up stairs you know...  ::)
I told him no thanks, I'm a lesbian. I you want to continue telling me about Iran, I'm all ears, otherwise, you know... fuck off, right?
The hosts were horrified that someone was talking to me like this and ejected him immediately. I was a bit stunned. eh? it wasn't anything rude, ffs, just someone trying it on and "fuck off" kind of takes care of that pretty easy. But they get very protective of everyone. It's pretty I-got-your-back. Plus you don't talk to people like that here. And people in that community look at me in the eye, never in the boob. People are extremely well mannered. And I'm treated with a shed load of respect. So I think it's kind of swap off?

Sometimes I wish I could put things in a nutshell.

« Last Edit: Jun 17, 2013, 08:46:18 AM by Honeybabs »