In Depth or in Distraction > Identity Matters

Finally

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Back-Again:
After three years in transition I'm only nine days away from GRS. In the last three years i've argued and faught to do this on my terms and here i am, not a frock in my wardrobe, i don't own lippy. I feel a little deflated it's not what i thought it would be. It's like the christmas count down from Childhood, the days are flying past but i can't enjoy the build put to surgery because i'm too busy worrying about how I'll manage for the first six weeks while i heal enough to get about.

I'm worried about being stuck in hospital on my own, i hate hospitals. I'm still worried about kicking the bucket in theatre. I'm worried that i won't have the relationship with my body that i hope for, i'm worried that i'll still be as physically restrained as i have been.

All of the other operations are lined up for after october but this is the biggie

ThaïsInSeclusion:
^ Were you here before?  As in last year?  But you left because you thought you were returning to your "man cave"?

Apologies if I'm mixing you up with someone else.

Back-Again:
I was girl-from-mars. And yeah i've been sorting my self out. I don't think it was so much as returning to a man cave but finishing coming to terms with being a hermaphrodite. Things kept cropping up and i needed a little guidance and help in dealing with things. Also had to have a bit of a fight with the PCT which knocked the shine off things....

ThaïsInSeclusion:
GFM!  GFM!  I'm so glad you're BACK!

I wondered what happened to you and thought you wouldn't be happy going backward.  I'm so glad you've returned to GB and that you've made some decisions.  Or gotten to where you can make some decisions.

Very best of luck with it all--and welcome back!

TheCJ:
Hey,

You've fought so long to get to where you are, nerves are a natural part of it. Don't worry too much about how you'll be in theatre, I'm sure you'll be fine. Concentrate on how you'll feel when it's all done. Right now, I'm at the start of my journey, but I expect I'll be as worried as you when I get to where you are! You'll be just fine :) xxx

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