In Depth or in Distraction > Identity Matters
Feminine and lesbian, do you even exist?
Jenny Talia:
This is the second article I've read about this topic today.
To be honest I'm disappointed that in this age of Gay Marriage and Liberation, that feminine lesbians still feel invisible even amongst lesbians.
I'm aware not all women feel this way however, so thoughts?
Charlotte Mew:
Well clearly I exist - but I am not keen on the word feminine. It has too many implications and associations that I don't want to be connected with. (For instance the image of 'femininity' that I was trained to aspire to as a girl-child). That is why I prefer to use the word femme, a lesbian-created word, and with somewhat different meanings.
Uncle Pants:
The word 'feminine' is usually followed by 'hygiene products' in my mind.
millicent:
^^^ I always think of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckKepPE9kLI
Ciaran:
I have no doubt that femme invisibility can be extremely frustrating and non-affirming. That said, I do think that, on occasions, that sort of invisibility can have its advantages as, unfortunately depsite the progress that has been made, it's not always easy being easily identifiable as gay and / or different, though admittedly that's a rather sad state of affairs.
I'd also add that it's definitely not only femmes that can encounter difficulties in female-oriented gay clubs.
The stereotype that women base their appearance on pleasing, or wanting to please, men clearly remains, hence the view that well-presented feminine women are not gay
However, I find that there is slowly but surely a greater acceptance that gay women (and gay men) come in all shapes, sizes and appearances, no doubt helped by an increasing number of feminine gay women in the public eye - Portia de Rossi, Jane Hill, Michelle Rounds etc (admittedly, this is potentially hindered by the multitude of female celebrities over the past decade who appear to have flirted with bisexuality to court headlines and "shock").
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